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00:00:25,200 --> 00:00:28,680
KONRAD FROM THE CAN
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00:02:51,560 --> 00:02:53,960
Can they really live inside there?
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00:03:58,400 --> 00:04:02,760
This thing is damn heavy!
It certainly isn't popcorn...
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"Dear Mrs. Bartolotti,
herein you'll find the desired items.
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00:05:14,360 --> 00:05:16,920
In the case that
you have no use for them,
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00:05:17,080 --> 00:05:20,040
could you of course return them to us.
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00:05:20,240 --> 00:05:25,360
Due to hygiene concerns,
we only accept back unopened cans."
8
00:05:40,000 --> 00:05:42,800
It couldn't be sausages either.
9
00:05:44,640 --> 00:05:47,200
And hamburger is hardly likely.
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00:06:14,160 --> 00:06:15,400
Oh!
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00:06:16,480 --> 00:06:20,520
Good day, dear mother!
The nutrient solution is on the lid.
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00:06:26,520 --> 00:06:29,720
It would be very nice if you
would hurry a little,
13
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because without the nutrient solution,
I won't keep very long once opened.
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You must dissolve the nutrient solution
in 4 litres of luke-warm water,
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and pour it over me.
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00:06:47,040 --> 00:06:49,680
You must measure the water carefully.
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00:06:55,920 --> 00:07:00,120
You must stir the nutrient solution
into the water.
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00:07:14,600 --> 00:07:17,560
Now you must pour the
nutrient solution over me.
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00:08:16,200 --> 00:08:20,720
"Father: Konrad August Bartolotti.
Mother: Berti Bartolotti.
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Name: Konrad Bartolotti,
Born on the 13th October of 1974.
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Nationality: German."
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"Dear Parents, with our
highly-developed final product,
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00:08:35,480 --> 00:08:39,440
faults and shortcomings are eliminated.
Nevertheless, our young requires
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00:08:39,640 --> 00:08:43,920
the usual supervision,
nurture and affection."
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Don't you have any clothes?
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They told us we get
clothes from our parents.
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- Is this fashionable for
7-year-old boys? - No, no.
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Little boys wear entirely different
things. The jacket is mine.
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- I didn't know about all this!
- What didn't you know?
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- Well, that they were sending you!
- We're shipped only when ordered.
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00:09:22,040 --> 00:09:26,720
- Or has the shipping department erred?
- No, no, certainly not. I, um ...
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00:09:26,920 --> 00:09:29,800
It's only... that I didn't know
you would arrive today.
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00:09:29,960 --> 00:09:33,560
I thought it would be at least
8 days or 2 weeks.
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Are you happy that I'm here, Mother?
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Yes...
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I'm very happy you're here, Konrad.
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Can I now lie down for an
hour or two,
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- because I'm tired from the can opening?
- Yes, of course! Come along.
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This must be done, because otherwise
I could be damaged.
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00:10:14,160 --> 00:10:16,040
Good night, Mother.
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00:11:12,760 --> 00:11:15,880
Good. Thank you!
-Thank you too.
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00:11:19,120 --> 00:11:23,160
Caruso! Caruso! Caruso!
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00:11:26,120 --> 00:11:29,080
- Good morning, Mother!
- Hi Konrad!
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00:11:33,320 --> 00:11:34,880
Jump!
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00:11:37,840 --> 00:11:40,400
Why did you lift me up and
then put me back down?
46
00:11:40,560 --> 00:11:43,360
I wanted to kiss you, but didn't
know if that would be proper.
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00:11:43,560 --> 00:11:48,000
Children are to be kissed by their
parents only if they've been good.
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00:11:48,560 --> 00:11:52,840
I was home alone. I've broken
nothing and caused no damage.
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However, I put on the jacket,
since I was a bit cold.
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- I hope that wasn't improper?
- No, of course not!
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Then I think you can kiss me.
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Unpack it.
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00:12:23,840 --> 00:12:27,440
- It doesn't appear you like that
at all. - That's true.
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00:12:27,920 --> 00:12:30,400
If it pleases you, then
I'll also be satisfied.
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00:12:30,600 --> 00:12:34,240
But it should please you!
You should wear the clothes.
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00:12:34,720 --> 00:12:38,480
I don't know what the latest
fashion is, only...
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"Only" what?
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- Only ...
- What? Spit it out!
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00:12:44,640 --> 00:12:49,160
I've seen kids on the street. They were
wearing completely different things.
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Because they're boring! They have
no imagination and confidence at all.
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00:12:53,680 --> 00:12:56,640
and their parents have none either.
You see, the sun,
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the cat and the stag,
which I've stitched...
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00:13:00,320 --> 00:13:04,000
No one in the world besides myself
has one, and about that I'm proud!
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00:13:04,200 --> 00:13:07,480
- That's pretty, right?
- Hmm ...
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Good, good, I can see.
Not everyone is like me.
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You look enchanting!
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Really unique, super!
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You're the most beautiful child
I've seen in my life!
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00:13:25,480 --> 00:13:27,600
Come, look in the mirror.
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00:13:28,200 --> 00:13:31,560
No! Seven-year-old boys should
only wash around their ears
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and brush their teeth in the mirror.
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- Otherwise, they become vain and smug.
- Oh!
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These are very nice blocks!
74
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- Where can I play?
- Where can you do what?
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00:14:03,920 --> 00:14:08,120
- Where is my play corner?
- Play corner? What's that?
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00:14:08,400 --> 00:14:11,760
Children have a children's room
or a play corner.
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00:14:12,040 --> 00:14:15,800
Since you don't have a children's room,
you must assign me a play corner.
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00:14:16,000 --> 00:14:19,680
So, I have a living room,
a bedroom,
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a corridor, a bathroom
and a kitchen.
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Every room has four corners.
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Konrad, you can have all of them!
And the middle of the room too.
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- No, thanks. One is enough.
- Well, then pick one out.
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00:14:34,160 --> 00:14:36,400
- Where would I disturb you the least?
- Who?
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- You.
- Disturb me?
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00:14:39,120 --> 00:14:44,560
Not at all. Certainly not! As far as
I'm concerned, you can play anywhere!
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00:14:47,120 --> 00:14:49,920
- Then I'll take this one.
- OK.
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I have still a bunch of
other things that I've bought.
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A ball, a picture book and a doll.
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00:15:14,640 --> 00:15:17,680
It's better for a
seven-year-old boy,
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00:15:17,840 --> 00:15:21,960
to concentrate on one thing entirely.
Otherwise he'll become hyperactive.
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00:15:22,160 --> 00:15:25,280
I'm sorry! I hadn't considered that.
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00:15:26,400 --> 00:15:28,280
- Is this for me?
- Uh-huh!
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- I'm a boy!
- Is a doll not for a boy?
94
00:15:32,200 --> 00:15:36,720
- No, a doll is something only
for a girl. - Oh, too bad...
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She's so pretty!
I have to do a bit of work now.
96
00:15:42,400 --> 00:15:47,080
Yes, of course! We were told
that most mothers work nowadays.
97
00:16:07,520 --> 00:16:12,440
My God, it's 7 o'clock! Konrad, I must
leave, Egon is waiting at the cinema!
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00:16:12,640 --> 00:16:16,840
- Who is Egon? - Oh, we're friends,
Tuesdays and Saturdays.
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00:16:17,000 --> 00:16:20,880
We wanted to go to the cinema. I'll
tell him about you then be right back.
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- You don't need to come right back for
my sake. - Of course I must!
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You'll play a little while, right?
Good.
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Berti! Finally! I already thought
you weren't coming at all!
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- I'm sorry Egon, but I... - Yes, yes!
Come quickly, it has already started.
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00:16:59,000 --> 00:17:01,720
Yes, but Egon! I ...
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00:17:02,080 --> 00:17:06,040
Would you like children? Do you worry
about the problems in raising them?
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00:17:06,200 --> 00:17:10,480
We deliver a child to specifications.
With us there are no accidents
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00:17:10,680 --> 00:17:14,480
and no more risks. The latest
scientific production methods and
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the most careful quality control...
- Sit down! - Egon!
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- Psst! - ...Our highly-developed final
product fulfills your expectations.
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No problems as in natural children.
Instant-children are clean,
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well bred, and an instant-child
obeys to the letter.
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00:17:29,440 --> 00:17:31,800
- Egon, I must tell you something!
- Not now, later!
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- Yes, now!
- Be quiet! We're ready to begin.
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- Order your instant child, direct from
the factory. - I must say something!
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- Are you finally calm! - Calm
down, people are watching!
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Egon, I have a child!
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Here we are, Konrad!
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- This is Egon, the pharmacist.
- Good evening, Mr. Egon.
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00:18:06,040 --> 00:18:08,840
Berti, I have to talk with you.
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00:18:09,040 --> 00:18:12,560
Konrad, I must first explain to Egon
why you're here.
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- Can you watch TV for a while?
- Yes, Mother.
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Pull out the top knob, then
push in the third from the bottom.
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Thanks, I know.
We were instructed in using TVs.
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Annoying! Extremely annoying!
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I can't remember ordering him.
I unsuspectingly...
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opened the can, and imagine that!
You open up a can,
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and look upon a shriveled-up dwarf
who says: "Good day, dear mother!"
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00:18:54,840 --> 00:18:58,360
- "The nutrient solution is in the lid!"
- Unbelievable! - Unbelievable?
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00:18:58,560 --> 00:19:01,920
Can't you say something other
than "unbelievable" and "annoying"?
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That's unbelievable!
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- Send him back!
- Egon!
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00:19:17,720 --> 00:19:21,400
- Is it time to go to bed?
- Are you already tired?
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00:19:22,680 --> 00:19:26,400
Most children aren't yet
tired at bedtime.
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00:19:29,840 --> 00:19:33,960
Stay up as long as you want. You'll
decide when you want to go to bed.
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00:19:35,680 --> 00:19:39,560
- Sit down! Would you like some candy?
- No, thanks.
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00:19:39,760 --> 00:19:43,640
- Snacking on food before bedtime
is very bad. -Oh!
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00:19:45,720 --> 00:19:49,400
Berti, you don't understand.
This child is smarter than you!
138
00:19:49,600 --> 00:19:54,720
- He knows how bad sugar
is for the teeth. - Hogwash!
139
00:19:57,160 --> 00:19:59,800
Thanks, the candy was good,
but it worries me.
140
00:19:59,960 --> 00:20:02,000
Candy doesn't worry the stomach!
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00:20:02,200 --> 00:20:05,080
You would have had to eat an
entire bag already.
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00:20:05,440 --> 00:20:08,800
Candy doesn't worry the stomach,
but rather the soul.
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Because eating candy
before bedtime is forbidden.
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00:20:12,960 --> 00:20:16,080
That was one of the most important
parts of our lessons,
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- that we had during final preparations.
- That's terrible!
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00:20:20,480 --> 00:20:22,400
It was called "guilt hour".
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00:20:22,680 --> 00:20:25,440
If all children were this way,
I would have had one long ago!
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00:20:25,600 --> 00:20:28,240
Thus, a well-bred,
respectable, friendly,
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well-mannered seven-year-old boy
is a true joy!
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00:20:32,360 --> 00:20:34,320
Egon, you're an idiot!
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00:20:34,600 --> 00:20:38,720
Konrad, you need a father.
He needs a father urgently!
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00:20:38,920 --> 00:20:41,640
He has one! It states so
on his birth certificate!
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00:20:41,840 --> 00:20:45,280
Konrad August Bartolotti.
That's his father!
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00:20:45,440 --> 00:20:49,480
If that's his father, then he should
come here and care for his child.
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00:20:49,640 --> 00:20:52,200
That's his sworn duty!
156
00:20:52,360 --> 00:20:56,320
I have no use for Konrad August!
I wish him good riddance!
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00:20:56,480 --> 00:21:00,600
There he is and there he shall remain!
I don't want him for Konrad either.
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00:21:00,800 --> 00:21:03,440
- Then someone must take
his father's place... - Aha!
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00:21:03,640 --> 00:21:06,440
And so you happened to think of
yourself. How selfless!
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00:21:06,960 --> 00:21:09,080
Where I can sleep please?
161
00:21:24,560 --> 00:21:27,680
You know Konrad, that you
actually belong to...
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00:21:27,880 --> 00:21:31,080
- to a proper family
and to a father? - Yes?
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00:21:31,280 --> 00:21:35,400
And I would be happy
if I could be your father.
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I'm now his father.
Konrad has agreed to it.
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Really?
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00:21:49,160 --> 00:21:53,680
- Good, it will be fine with me. - How
nice that I have a mother and father!
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00:21:57,600 --> 00:22:00,480
You must take Konrad to school
tomorrow to enroll him!
168
00:22:01,120 --> 00:22:05,160
Tomorrow is Sunday and schools
are closed! - Monday then.
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00:22:05,320 --> 00:22:08,600
I can see now, how Konrad brings one
thing after another into the home.
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00:22:08,960 --> 00:22:12,480
He is an exceptionally intelligent
child. - Yes, yes, yes...
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00:22:13,600 --> 00:22:16,720
Berti, this is like growing flowers.
If you give them no water,
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then they dry up and you can't sketch
them. Children also need attention!
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00:22:22,720 --> 00:22:26,920
You must change entirely! You must
become more orderly and above all...
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00:22:27,120 --> 00:22:29,400
- ... Motherly!
- I? "Motherly?"
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00:22:29,600 --> 00:22:32,720
From the ground up!
You must become stable!
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00:22:35,080 --> 00:22:37,200
- That's no concern of yours!
- And how!
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00:22:37,400 --> 00:22:41,280
I'm now Konrad's father and I would
like him to have an decent mother.
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00:22:41,480 --> 00:22:44,840
- You also can't dress yourself
this way any more. - Ha!
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00:22:45,000 --> 00:22:49,760
You'll have to keep things tidy and
cook regularly. And, Berti ...
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00:22:49,960 --> 00:22:54,880
You also have to regularly earn money
so that the child is properly dressed.
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00:23:20,760 --> 00:23:22,400
Oh...
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00:23:48,520 --> 00:23:51,400
The ones, the tens, the hundreds
and the thousands...
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00:23:51,560 --> 00:23:56,000
- Good morning, Konrad! Why are you up
so early? - Good morning, Mother!
184
00:23:56,200 --> 00:23:59,880
I'm keeping up good habits. I'll go
to school tomorrow and so it's good
185
00:24:00,080 --> 00:24:05,920
- if I prepare myself properly.
- Yes, yes. "Properly, properly..."
186
00:24:15,800 --> 00:24:18,920
- My goodness, you're hungry!
- Oh no, I'm already very full.
187
00:24:19,120 --> 00:24:22,400
- I can't eat any more.
- Well, then give it a rest!
188
00:24:23,000 --> 00:24:25,720
But what's put on the table
is to be eaten!
189
00:24:33,400 --> 00:24:38,160
- Tell me Konrad, do we want to go to
the zoo today? - I don't know.
190
00:24:38,320 --> 00:24:41,120
- Or would you rather go for a walk?
- Actually I would most like to
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00:24:41,280 --> 00:24:44,480
prepare for school. I don't know
how far along the other children are.
192
00:24:44,640 --> 00:24:48,080
- Oh, you'll find that out tomorrow!
- I would prefer to know today.
193
00:24:48,240 --> 00:24:51,920
Do you know any seven year olds who
could lend me textbooks?
194
00:24:52,080 --> 00:24:56,520
- Don't you want to be in the 1st grade?
- I want to be in 2nd grade at least.
195
00:24:56,680 --> 00:24:59,040
I'm not only an instant child,
but also an elite child.
196
00:24:59,240 --> 00:25:02,440
And you don't want my
intellectual abilities to atrophy.
197
00:25:02,640 --> 00:25:08,080
Oh no! I'll ask the Rosikas,
who have a seven-year-old daughter.
198
00:25:12,120 --> 00:25:14,920
- What may I do for you?
- Herbert, what's going on? Ah...
199
00:25:15,120 --> 00:25:17,600
My son, um...
200
00:25:17,800 --> 00:25:20,600
Your daughter is still in the
2nd grade and I thought that...
201
00:25:20,760 --> 00:25:23,960
Because my son...
is going to school tomorrow,
202
00:25:24,160 --> 00:25:27,840
perhaps you could loan the
textbooks to him till this evening.
203
00:25:28,240 --> 00:25:30,720
- Yes, we could certainly do that.
- Of course.
204
00:25:32,280 --> 00:25:36,560
- You have a son? - Psst, don't
ask about that! Get the books!
205
00:25:38,320 --> 00:25:40,040
We're almost done with the
mathematics book.
206
00:25:40,160 --> 00:25:43,320
Thanks!
I'll return them this evening.
207
00:25:59,560 --> 00:26:03,320
- Good day, Berti!
- You? What are you doing here?
208
00:26:03,680 --> 00:26:07,800
- Why? I hope I'm not disturbing you.
- Of course you're not.
209
00:26:07,960 --> 00:26:10,920
But Saturday was yesterday
and Tuesday is the day after tomorrow.
210
00:26:11,120 --> 00:26:14,720
That doesn't matter to me.
I'm now the father!
211
00:26:14,880 --> 00:26:18,840
- How often does a father come by?
- As often as he can.
212
00:26:19,000 --> 00:26:21,960
- Yes, you can very often.
- Of course.
213
00:26:22,160 --> 00:26:27,360
We'll be together every free moment.
Of course, only when Konrad's not asleep.
214
00:26:27,520 --> 00:26:29,880
If he's sleeping, he doesn't need
his father unconditionally.
215
00:26:30,080 --> 00:26:32,640
Hopefully he'll have a good sleep.
216
00:26:38,040 --> 00:26:39,920
Konrad, may I see you again?
217
00:26:40,560 --> 00:26:44,000
1 times 13 plus 17 divided by 3...
218
00:26:44,160 --> 00:26:46,280
- Exactly 10.
- Hmm.
219
00:26:46,480 --> 00:26:50,760
7 times 4 divided by 2 plus 36...
220
00:26:50,920 --> 00:26:52,400
Exactly 50.
221
00:26:52,560 --> 00:26:55,360
Berti, the child doesn't belong
in the second grade,
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00:26:55,560 --> 00:26:57,920
the child belongs in the third
or fourth grade!
223
00:26:58,120 --> 00:27:01,920
A 7-year-old child can't be
in the fourth grade! And actually,
224
00:27:02,120 --> 00:27:07,040
- how would you know? - If a child is as
bright as my Konrad, there's no doubt!
225
00:27:07,240 --> 00:27:10,120
Your Konrad?
How is he your Konrad?
226
00:27:10,280 --> 00:27:13,480
Sorry. Our Konrad, I mean.
227
00:27:13,840 --> 00:27:15,960
My Konrad, I mean!
228
00:27:18,280 --> 00:27:21,720
Bertilein, let's not argue.
Especially not in front of the child.
229
00:27:21,880 --> 00:27:25,400
You get on my nerves!
230
00:27:31,440 --> 00:27:35,320
Bertilein, I have to ask!
Come on, Konrad, we're going to the zoo,
231
00:27:35,480 --> 00:27:38,040
until your mother calms down.
232
00:27:47,480 --> 00:27:50,520
- Is it a sign of nervousness, if one
eats like you are now? - Yeah...
233
00:27:50,680 --> 00:27:54,560
- Why? - Because I don't exactly
know what I should tell the school.
234
00:27:54,760 --> 00:27:57,320
You're seven years old and have
never been to school.
235
00:27:57,480 --> 00:27:59,440
Nevertheless, do you want
to be in 2nd grade?
236
00:27:59,640 --> 00:28:02,600
- In the third grade!
- In the third?
237
00:28:08,440 --> 00:28:10,240
- Hello, Mrs. Bartolotti!
- Hi!
238
00:28:10,400 --> 00:28:14,760
- Hello, my name is Konrad. - I'm Kitty!
Are you in 2nd grade too?
239
00:28:14,920 --> 00:28:17,880
I've considered it and
I'm going to 3rd grade.
240
00:28:33,240 --> 00:28:37,200
- Konrad, I think you should talk
more like a child. - Don't I?
241
00:28:37,360 --> 00:28:40,960
I don't know. I hardly know any
7 year olds, but I don't think so.
242
00:28:51,520 --> 00:28:54,240
- What are you doing here?
- Well, you're good!
243
00:28:54,440 --> 00:28:57,160
I'm definitely the father.
I mean, if there are difficulties,
244
00:28:57,320 --> 00:29:00,520
- I must stand by you. - That isn't
needed, Egon. Go to your pharmacy!
245
00:29:00,720 --> 00:29:03,760
I'm the father and shall remain so.
Come on!
246
00:29:21,440 --> 00:29:23,760
Egon, this is unheard of
impertinence!
247
00:29:41,000 --> 00:29:43,400
- Well, was it nice?
- Did you get an A?
248
00:29:44,360 --> 00:29:48,560
- No? Why not? - Would you
rather be in the 2nd grade?
249
00:29:48,720 --> 00:29:52,400
Nope, not at all. The stuff they
learn there is terribly boring.
250
00:29:52,560 --> 00:29:56,680
- But Konrad, how did you talk?
- I spoke childishly, like the others!
251
00:29:56,880 --> 00:29:59,520
- He has a funny mother!
- Who looks like a poppy flower!
252
00:29:59,680 --> 00:30:03,360
I didn't speak today because I first
need to figure out the correct way.
253
00:30:03,560 --> 00:30:07,080
Tomorrow I'll talk like that
and get a guaranteed A!
254
00:30:07,600 --> 00:30:11,400
It's just hard to distinguish between
what's childish and what's rude.
255
00:30:13,760 --> 00:30:18,480
- Konrad! - Isn't this the naughty girl
who lives upstairs from you?
256
00:30:18,680 --> 00:30:21,240
I don't want Konrad
to associate with this child.
257
00:30:21,400 --> 00:30:23,840
This girl already stuck her tongue
out at me several times.
258
00:30:24,040 --> 00:30:28,800
- My son is very comfortable in the
company of Kitty. - And mine is not!
259
00:30:29,120 --> 00:30:31,760
What should I do now?
Should I associate with her or not?
260
00:30:31,920 --> 00:30:33,640
You should... Ouch!
261
00:30:33,840 --> 00:30:38,640
- See, your father says you should.
- Konrad, I'm celebrating my birthday.
262
00:30:38,840 --> 00:30:42,800
I'd be happy if you would come over
around 3. Bye, see you then!
263
00:30:47,400 --> 00:30:51,200
It's better for children when
parents get along. - Yes, yes...
264
00:31:02,240 --> 00:31:06,760
- All people are different.
- Did I ask for a life counsellor?
265
00:31:09,000 --> 00:31:11,360
I learned that in the factory.
266
00:31:57,400 --> 00:32:00,840
- You're ready to go?
- Florian is also invited.
267
00:32:01,040 --> 00:32:05,480
- Is he nice? - He called me
"Bartolotti Idioti" in school.
268
00:32:07,320 --> 00:32:11,280
- I'm sure he was only joking.
- Do you really mean that?
269
00:32:13,360 --> 00:32:17,880
- Why did you say it then?
- I wanted to spare you the anguish.
270
00:32:18,040 --> 00:32:20,760
How can you spare me anguish
if you lie?
271
00:32:20,960 --> 00:32:26,400
- Why do children tease other children?
- I need to think about that.
272
00:32:26,920 --> 00:32:30,800
I can't easily explain it to you.
I'll tell you after the birthday party.
273
00:32:30,960 --> 00:32:34,720
- You promise?
- I absolutely promise.
274
00:32:34,920 --> 00:32:40,200
And if this Florian, this jerk,
bothers you again, then pop him one!
275
00:32:40,600 --> 00:32:42,960
I mean, strike him down,
grind him in the dirt!
276
00:32:43,160 --> 00:32:46,360
Knock him so silly
that he sees 1001 stars!
277
00:32:46,520 --> 00:32:49,240
Wipe the face right off him, my son!
278
00:32:59,000 --> 00:33:00,560
Are you afraid?
279
00:33:27,080 --> 00:33:29,200
Why is the pharmacist your father?
280
00:33:29,400 --> 00:33:32,120
My mother said
he has no children at all.
281
00:33:32,320 --> 00:33:35,360
- They're certainly not married.
- Leave him alone.
282
00:33:43,760 --> 00:33:46,240
Landed like a cowpatty!
283
00:33:51,800 --> 00:33:53,600
Good shot, yeah!
284
00:33:57,480 --> 00:34:00,120
It tastes best pounded to a pulp.
285
00:34:34,440 --> 00:34:35,760
Join in!
286
00:34:39,760 --> 00:34:41,400
Terrific!
287
00:34:48,480 --> 00:34:51,040
So, children, this has gone too far!
288
00:34:56,760 --> 00:34:59,960
- Konrad started it!
- Such disgusting behavior!
289
00:35:00,160 --> 00:35:03,880
- Disgusting, beastly behavior!
- So vulgar, that Florian would lie!
290
00:35:04,080 --> 00:35:07,440
I don't care for this at all!
Take your filthyness somewhere else!
291
00:35:12,560 --> 00:35:15,040
- Do you actually know how to do this?
- Of course!
292
00:35:15,240 --> 00:35:18,680
On your marks, get set... go!
293
00:35:29,680 --> 00:35:34,680
- Such a stupid game!
- Exactly, it's only for idiots!
294
00:35:35,760 --> 00:35:40,760
Caruso! Sing us a song to dance to!
295
00:35:40,960 --> 00:35:45,080
You know the green Teddy bear
with twenty red paws,
296
00:35:45,240 --> 00:35:49,120
who laughs, dances and sings no more.
Who has forbidden him those things?
297
00:35:49,320 --> 00:35:52,960
Hey, hey, Teddy Bear
is so good, is so calm.
298
00:35:53,160 --> 00:35:56,520
Hey, hey, Teddy Bear
never does what he wants.
299
00:35:56,720 --> 00:36:00,680
Hey, hey, Teddy Bear
never does what he wants!
300
00:36:05,040 --> 00:36:06,840
Damn stupid! Stinking silly!
301
00:36:07,000 --> 00:36:10,560
- Come on, let's get out of here!
- Such a boring birthday!
302
00:36:10,760 --> 00:36:13,480
The blame for that lies
with the stupid one there.
303
00:36:15,280 --> 00:36:19,160
- What do you like about him?
- We're enemies forever!
304
00:36:19,360 --> 00:36:23,320
Loving couple, you're kissy, kissy,
Bartolotti Idioti!
305
00:36:23,480 --> 00:36:28,160
Loving couple, you're kissy, kissy,
Bartolotti Idioti!
306
00:36:30,080 --> 00:36:32,040
Michi said he thinks I...
307
00:36:32,200 --> 00:36:34,920
- ...I'm your new love?
- It's true.
308
00:36:35,120 --> 00:36:36,440
- Really?
- Really.
309
00:36:36,600 --> 00:36:42,200
- Kitty, are you telling me that just
to prevent my anguish? - Nonsense..
310
00:36:44,320 --> 00:36:46,280
That's nice!
311
00:36:53,320 --> 00:36:56,840
Tomorrow we'll go to school together
and return home together too.
312
00:36:57,040 --> 00:37:00,480
And woe if someone does something
to you! It'll be a war with me.
313
00:37:00,680 --> 00:37:02,080
Then I'll get ready!
314
00:37:18,480 --> 00:37:22,600
Is it good for a 7-year-old girl to
protect a 7-year-old boy?
315
00:37:22,800 --> 00:37:27,560
- Of course, if he needs it.
- And if others laugh at him?
316
00:37:29,080 --> 00:37:32,600
If you're always concerned about
what others say,
317
00:37:32,800 --> 00:37:37,400
and what others do, then you'll
end up exactly like the others
318
00:37:37,560 --> 00:37:40,200
and you can't have that.
Do you understand?
319
00:37:40,400 --> 00:37:44,680
- Unfortunately not, but Kitty loves me.
- Well, so what!
320
00:37:45,920 --> 00:37:49,040
Well done, Konrad!
We must drink to that!
321
00:37:49,200 --> 00:37:53,160
So, I must drink to that.
Here's to you my son!
322
00:37:58,560 --> 00:38:00,520
Egon...
323
00:38:08,280 --> 00:38:11,080
Yuck, yuck... protein!
324
00:38:11,240 --> 00:38:14,600
A 7-year-old boy needs animal protein.
325
00:38:14,760 --> 00:38:18,400
And vitamins A, BB and D.
326
00:38:18,600 --> 00:38:22,800
- He'll get it tomorrow!
- He'll get it today! So, my son.
327
00:38:23,000 --> 00:38:28,200
- This is a proper boy's dinner!
- But he has just eaten!
328
00:38:28,360 --> 00:38:31,960
That's no dinner,
that's a stomach-churning chore.
329
00:38:33,200 --> 00:38:36,160
My darling, you must change yourself
completely. You're certainly nice,
330
00:38:36,320 --> 00:38:40,040
but also very unfit to raise
a child of Konrad's qualities.
331
00:38:40,240 --> 00:38:43,040
I could do very well by taking over
his upbringing.
332
00:38:43,240 --> 00:38:46,280
Order your own child and you can do
what you like with that one.
333
00:38:46,440 --> 00:38:48,160
But leave Konrad alone!
334
00:38:49,400 --> 00:38:52,040
My darling, you can
insult me as much as you want.
335
00:38:52,240 --> 00:38:55,600
But when it comes to my son,
I won't give in!
336
00:38:55,760 --> 00:39:00,040
Your son? August Bartolotti, the
father's name is August Bartolotti!
337
00:39:00,200 --> 00:39:04,960
Konrad chose me as his father.
Besides, this August Bartolotti
338
00:39:05,120 --> 00:39:10,240
isn't available. Or has your mother
already bought your school supplies?
339
00:39:10,480 --> 00:39:14,240
- A good mother doesn't forget
such things. - No, I haven't yet!
340
00:39:14,440 --> 00:39:17,400
As if there were nothing more
important than getting school things.
341
00:39:17,560 --> 00:39:22,480
I would like Konrad by my side.
I can hire a first class nanny
342
00:39:22,680 --> 00:39:24,880
and send him to a first class school.
343
00:39:25,040 --> 00:39:27,160
You're a first class idiot!
344
00:39:29,360 --> 00:39:32,240
There, see how unfit you are!
345
00:39:33,520 --> 00:39:37,800
So, Konrad, do you then agree
that you'll live with me from now on?
346
00:39:38,000 --> 00:39:42,840
- I don't exactly know what's right.
- My son, listen to yourself.
347
00:39:43,880 --> 00:39:46,520
You already have a sense of
whom you prefer.
348
00:39:47,760 --> 00:39:49,480
Smoking is unhealthy!
349
00:39:52,440 --> 00:39:54,000
Egon...
350
00:39:56,480 --> 00:39:58,840
How do you like Kitty Rosika?
351
00:39:59,040 --> 00:40:02,560
She's an atrocious, rude girl.
Recently in the pharmacy...
352
00:40:02,720 --> 00:40:06,000
she stuck her tongue out at me
and jumped around on the scale.
353
00:40:06,160 --> 00:40:10,360
- And if she wanted to be his girlfriend?
- I'd know how to stop that!
354
00:40:10,920 --> 00:40:14,640
Are you feeling ill, my son?
Hmm, with this grub it's no surprise.
355
00:40:14,840 --> 00:40:19,200
I'm not ill, but I feel that
I want to stay with my mother.
356
00:40:21,160 --> 00:40:25,440
- Don't you like me anymore?
- Sure, dear father, I like you a lot.
357
00:40:25,640 --> 00:40:29,080
- I'm always happy when you visit us.
- Oh...
358
00:40:29,240 --> 00:40:34,600
Don't take it too hard, Egon.
Everything remains just as it was.
359
00:40:38,040 --> 00:40:40,600
Protein, animal protein
is needed for a boy!
360
00:40:40,800 --> 00:40:46,160
- Vitamin A, Vitamin BB and D.
- He'll get it tomorrow.
361
00:40:46,320 --> 00:40:50,840
- He'll get it today. This is a
proper boys' dinner. - Bah!
362
00:40:51,000 --> 00:40:54,360
You must change yourself completely
dear Berti! You're certainly very nice,
363
00:40:54,560 --> 00:40:59,320
but you are totally unfit to raise
a boy of Konrad's qualities.
364
00:40:59,520 --> 00:41:04,240
Egon, you're an idiot!
Come on, Konrad, we're leaving!
365
00:41:10,200 --> 00:41:12,760
Don't you like me at all anymore?
366
00:41:14,160 --> 00:41:17,440
Stop, wait! Kitty-Berti!
367
00:41:30,920 --> 00:41:36,280
- Konrad, you must change yourself!
- Don't I please you anymore?
368
00:41:36,480 --> 00:41:38,600
Yes, very much!
369
00:42:10,840 --> 00:42:12,720
How is that possible?
370
00:42:13,360 --> 00:42:16,720
A... a... a... child!
371
00:42:17,680 --> 00:42:21,720
- Address! - Error of the shipping
department. - What? What?
372
00:42:22,800 --> 00:42:24,280
Take the glasses!
373
00:42:26,160 --> 00:42:28,960
- Ooh...
- We will find the boy.
374
00:43:22,360 --> 00:43:26,400
One, two, three, what do I
see there? A couple in love!
375
00:43:26,600 --> 00:43:31,880
Another kiss, then it's over
because he must go home!
376
00:43:32,320 --> 00:43:36,680
Cowards! Cowards! Cowards!
377
00:43:38,200 --> 00:43:42,080
Who knows the green Teddy bear
with thirty red ears?
378
00:43:42,240 --> 00:43:46,120
He spits and stomps every which way
and farts quite unabashedly.
379
00:43:46,280 --> 00:43:49,880
Hey, hey, Teddy bear,
don't be good, don't be calm.
380
00:43:50,080 --> 00:43:53,280
Konrad Teddy bear
doesn't dare do what he wants!
381
00:43:53,480 --> 00:43:57,200
Who knows the green Teddy bear
with thir...
382
00:43:58,000 --> 00:44:02,120
- Konrad, what is it?
- I don't know what I should do.
383
00:44:02,560 --> 00:44:06,920
Seven-year-old boys should listen
attentively when mothers talk or sing.
384
00:44:07,120 --> 00:44:09,560
but 7-year-old boys
should immediately turn away
385
00:44:09,760 --> 00:44:12,800
when there's improper talk
or singing.
386
00:44:13,720 --> 00:44:16,840
I don't believe
I know any proper songs.
387
00:44:17,880 --> 00:44:21,760
Oliver says you're quite intolerable.
"A tattle-tale," he called you.
388
00:44:21,960 --> 00:44:24,920
- I can't do what's forbidden.
- Tattling is forbidden,
389
00:44:25,080 --> 00:44:29,440
because it provokes others. If you
tell on others, you're a snake.
390
00:44:33,680 --> 00:44:35,800
Who wants to demonstrate gymnastics?
391
00:44:36,800 --> 00:44:39,040
- Denise?
- Nah.
392
00:44:39,240 --> 00:44:40,560
Konrad?
393
00:44:41,280 --> 00:44:45,040
- Remain seated!
- Don't get up!
394
00:44:45,960 --> 00:44:49,520
Boo! Traitor!
395
00:44:53,360 --> 00:44:56,640
"Karantella, Karantella, Karantella,
396
00:44:56,800 --> 00:45:01,680
Karantella, Karantella, Karantella!"
Who is that?
397
00:45:01,880 --> 00:45:03,920
- Caruso!
- Yes!
398
00:45:05,280 --> 00:45:09,240
And who is this: "Vitamins,
vitamins are what the child needs!"
399
00:45:09,800 --> 00:45:11,680
- Egon?
- Yes!
400
00:45:13,280 --> 00:45:15,000
And now it's your turn!
401
00:45:19,880 --> 00:45:21,200
I am you!
402
00:45:24,800 --> 00:45:28,400
I can't do anything forbidden.
I can't upset any adults.
403
00:45:28,560 --> 00:45:32,080
- I was made that way by the factory.
- Nonsense!
404
00:45:32,720 --> 00:45:35,920
Everyone can change.
You too.
405
00:45:36,200 --> 00:45:39,080
You just haven't tried properly.
406
00:45:43,360 --> 00:45:45,400
22 Marks, please.
407
00:45:45,600 --> 00:45:50,400
A father has to pay for his child!
They call it alimony.
408
00:45:50,600 --> 00:45:53,800
You've been a father for three weeks
and I've not seen a Pfennig!
409
00:45:57,160 --> 00:46:00,840
- Berti, not so loud! Keep the change.
- Thank you.
410
00:46:01,560 --> 00:46:06,680
Naturally I'll support you. We
could also raise Konrad jointly!
411
00:46:06,880 --> 00:46:09,080
That's out of the question!
412
00:46:10,000 --> 00:46:11,320
Certainly...
413
00:46:12,640 --> 00:46:15,360
the situation with Konrad
is quite confused.
414
00:46:15,800 --> 00:46:19,240
The flowers, that you bring me, wither,
before I have sketched them.
415
00:46:19,440 --> 00:46:22,000
- The newspaper has been notified.
- If you give them...
416
00:46:22,200 --> 00:46:27,040
..."fresh water every day,
cut off the stems," I know...
417
00:46:28,520 --> 00:46:31,080
Berti, you're incorrigible.
418
00:46:31,480 --> 00:46:34,680
- Cheers!
- To you too!
419
00:46:37,640 --> 00:46:40,680
- So.
- Shall we go? - Yes.
420
00:47:01,520 --> 00:47:06,440
I'll show you something interesting.
This is Strychnos toxifera.
421
00:47:06,640 --> 00:47:09,920
Obtained from the bark of this tree
by the Indians in Latin America -
422
00:47:10,080 --> 00:47:14,360
from between the Orinoco
and Amazon -
423
00:47:14,520 --> 00:47:17,480
we get the famous
arrow poison "curare".
424
00:47:17,640 --> 00:47:20,280
They call it Tupí Urari.
425
00:47:20,760 --> 00:47:24,200
Which translates as
"whomever gets it, drops."
426
00:47:24,400 --> 00:47:28,600
If this poison enters the bloodstream,
it's absolutely fatal.
427
00:47:28,800 --> 00:47:33,920
Within a few minutes it causes
heart paralysis, muscle paralysis
428
00:47:34,120 --> 00:47:37,560
and respiratory paralysis.
Alexander von Humboldt...
429
00:47:37,720 --> 00:47:40,680
Now we'll go down to look at
the moonseed plants.
430
00:47:40,880 --> 00:47:46,080
By 1815 Alexander von Humboldt became
the first to describe the precise
431
00:47:46,280 --> 00:47:49,080
production and effects of curare.
432
00:47:49,240 --> 00:47:51,800
In the stomach, curare is harmless.
433
00:47:51,960 --> 00:47:57,880
Thus, the Indians could eat animals
killed by their curare arrows.
434
00:47:59,160 --> 00:48:01,440
Well, enjoyed in small quantities
435
00:48:01,600 --> 00:48:05,640
ice cream could be good medicine
for tired feet.
436
00:48:58,200 --> 00:49:03,480
- Who wrote to you?
- Oh... just some advertisements.
437
00:49:07,280 --> 00:49:11,320
- Ads don't come by express letter.
- The letter is from the factory.
438
00:49:19,600 --> 00:49:23,880
- Open up the letter! - And what if
it contains something unwelcome?
439
00:49:24,080 --> 00:49:28,120
Forget the letter. We'll burn it!
It'll be as though it never existed.
440
00:49:29,520 --> 00:49:33,800
Maybe it says something good.
Perhaps Konrad won the lottery.
441
00:49:33,960 --> 00:49:39,240
Children, children! My intuition
says there's nothing good in it.
442
00:49:39,400 --> 00:49:44,000
- The letter feels bad. - So we must
open it more than ever!
443
00:49:44,200 --> 00:49:48,240
If one knows about bad things, they're
less bad than if one doesn't know.
444
00:49:49,520 --> 00:49:51,320
If you mean...
445
00:49:55,880 --> 00:50:01,000
- Konrad, read to us.
- "Dear Mrs. Bartolotti!
446
00:50:01,200 --> 00:50:04,960
We have found, after a review of our
delivery department,
447
00:50:05,160 --> 00:50:08,760
that we've made a regrettable error.
You were shipped a...
448
00:50:08,960 --> 00:50:13,760
seven-year-old boy that you
were in no way entitled to."
449
00:50:14,360 --> 00:50:15,840
Of all the nerve!
450
00:50:17,320 --> 00:50:21,040
"At the time, you filled out two
reminder forms
451
00:50:21,240 --> 00:50:26,520
for another product we have long
since finished.
452
00:50:26,800 --> 00:50:30,560
We ask you to promptly make the boy
available and get him ready to be
453
00:50:30,760 --> 00:50:35,680
picked up by our service department
for delivery to his rightful parents."
454
00:50:35,840 --> 00:50:39,200
- Such an awful mess!
- "We would like to point out you,
455
00:50:39,400 --> 00:50:42,600
that the factory retains ownership of
instant children for their lifetimes
456
00:50:42,760 --> 00:50:46,640
and are only delivered on loan for
rearing and the use of the parents."
457
00:50:46,840 --> 00:50:49,640
- Shamelessness!
- "Objection on your part is futile
458
00:50:49,840 --> 00:50:52,560
and there is no right of appeal."
459
00:50:57,760 --> 00:51:01,480
That means... in the next few days.
460
00:51:05,640 --> 00:51:10,320
- You must not surrender him!
- If he really is a misdelivery!
461
00:51:11,560 --> 00:51:14,120
And if he belongs to someone else...
462
00:51:14,960 --> 00:51:17,520
And if I've put in reminders...
463
00:51:19,480 --> 00:51:21,520
I can't cook properly.
464
00:51:23,600 --> 00:51:27,200
And Egon says,
I'm not a good mother.
465
00:51:36,080 --> 00:51:39,440
You're my mother
and you're a good mother.
466
00:51:41,120 --> 00:51:43,440
There, you've heard it,
he doesn't want to leave!
467
00:51:43,720 --> 00:51:47,680
But you could become a mother
who provides vitamins.
468
00:51:48,440 --> 00:51:53,480
And sings proper children's songs.
And has a proper husband.
469
00:51:53,680 --> 00:51:56,640
I've become accustomed to having
your love, as has Egon.
470
00:51:56,840 --> 00:51:59,800
And if I go away,
I'd be away from Kitty too.
471
00:52:00,400 --> 00:52:03,920
No, I want to stay here.
That's how I feel.
472
00:52:04,920 --> 00:52:07,040
You really feel that way?
473
00:52:12,360 --> 00:52:16,120
We must think of something that
will work against those jerks.
474
00:52:16,320 --> 00:52:18,640
We must take action!
475
00:52:18,960 --> 00:52:22,560
Write them a courteous letter,
saying that I want to stay here.
476
00:52:23,160 --> 00:52:26,360
Nonsense! They don't care
a bit about what you want!
477
00:52:28,200 --> 00:52:31,720
We need to come up with
something quite cunning!
478
00:52:32,360 --> 00:52:36,560
- But if the action is prohibited,
I can't partake. - Hmm...
479
00:52:38,280 --> 00:52:40,680
"Forbidden, forbidden,"...
480
00:52:43,960 --> 00:52:47,320
March, Konrad, off to your bedroom!
481
00:52:47,480 --> 00:52:49,920
I have to discuss something
with Kitty.
482
00:52:52,640 --> 00:52:57,240
Konrad must first disappear so the
service department won't find him.
483
00:52:57,400 --> 00:53:01,080
- We'll take him to Egon. - And what
happens if they figure that out?
484
00:53:01,280 --> 00:53:04,480
Then he must be made so that
they don't want him anymore!
485
00:53:04,640 --> 00:53:07,600
Insolent? Loud? Messy?
486
00:53:07,760 --> 00:53:10,000
- Snotty?
- Exactly!
487
00:53:10,200 --> 00:53:14,000
In other words, Konrad isn't like the
way he was trained by the factory.
488
00:53:14,200 --> 00:53:16,480
And what one has learned,
one can unlearn again.
489
00:53:16,640 --> 00:53:21,640
- And who should teach him that?
- I can't ask Egon.
490
00:53:21,840 --> 00:53:25,960
The factory would become suspicious!
But you can do it!
491
00:53:43,720 --> 00:53:44,840
- Good day!
- Good day!
492
00:53:45,040 --> 00:53:48,920
- What does it cost to clean this carpet?
- 6.50 Marks per square meter.
493
00:53:49,080 --> 00:53:53,600
Too expensive! Let's keep going. Can
we get out this way? We live here.
494
00:53:53,800 --> 00:53:55,680
- Please.
- Thanks!
495
00:54:07,160 --> 00:54:09,840
Pardon me!
496
00:54:19,400 --> 00:54:24,040
- Berti, what... what is the plan now?
- To carry out the disappearance!
497
00:54:24,200 --> 00:54:28,040
- Why should I hide the carpet?
- Not the carpet. Konrad!
498
00:54:28,200 --> 00:54:31,160
- You must hide Konrad. Just help
out a bit for once! - Konrad?
499
00:54:31,320 --> 00:54:34,080
- Where... where is he then?
- Push this here!
500
00:54:35,960 --> 00:54:37,560
So.
501
00:54:39,800 --> 00:54:44,320
- Get out of my way!
- Yes, what should...
502
00:54:44,480 --> 00:54:48,720
- Oh, heavens! - Sit down, Egon,
I'll explain everything to you.
503
00:54:48,880 --> 00:54:52,480
I have no time, the pharmacy is full
of people! - Then leave and close it!
504
00:54:52,640 --> 00:54:55,040
But Mrs. Bartolotti,
that's much too conspicuous.
505
00:54:55,200 --> 00:54:58,840
- A pharmacy can't simply close down!
- Yes, very good!
506
00:54:59,000 --> 00:55:00,840
Very good!
507
00:55:05,800 --> 00:55:08,640
- My darling, that goes way too far!
- It must be done.
508
00:55:08,800 --> 00:55:11,560
We have had Konrad only by mistake.
They want to pick him up again!
509
00:55:11,720 --> 00:55:13,480
That's out of the question!
510
00:55:14,640 --> 00:55:17,680
- Did you actually pay for him?
- No!
511
00:55:18,400 --> 00:55:21,280
Oh, how nasty!
512
00:55:23,800 --> 00:55:28,160
- Mother, what are we doing here?
- Kitty and I are leaving again.
513
00:55:28,320 --> 00:55:32,840
You stay and wait for Egon. He's
coming around 6:30. Don't go out!
514
00:55:33,080 --> 00:55:35,600
Can you bear it in this shack?
515
00:55:35,760 --> 00:55:39,880
A 7-year-old boy must be able to
occupy himself for a couple of hours.
516
00:55:52,320 --> 00:55:56,600
- That's so hard!
- Yes! So, once again!
517
00:55:56,760 --> 00:55:59,680
- Yes, phew!
- So, now we're going.
518
00:55:59,840 --> 00:56:05,040
You know the green Teddy bear
with thirty red ears...
519
00:56:07,760 --> 00:56:10,400
- We have reconsidered it.
- Hmm.
520
00:57:19,040 --> 00:57:22,280
Look out!
Here comes the "Konrad Destroyer"!
521
00:57:23,480 --> 00:57:27,760
Ah, you're all so stupid and
you understand nothing at all!
522
00:57:27,920 --> 00:57:32,760
- I understand. You love monkeys!
- What can he do since that's how he is?
523
00:57:32,920 --> 00:57:37,400
- They made him that way!
- Who did, huh? Kitty, you're crazy!
524
00:57:55,120 --> 00:57:59,520
Oh dear! Now you're grey
and hideous as a head louse.
525
00:57:59,840 --> 00:58:01,120
But...
526
00:58:03,280 --> 00:58:05,840
...at least no one will
recognize you. Yuck!
527
00:58:07,680 --> 00:58:12,680
- I'm getting bored in this
stupid city. -Yes, yes, I know.
528
00:58:16,720 --> 00:58:19,520
What may I do for you?
529
00:58:19,800 --> 00:58:22,720
Oh, it's you! Berti...
530
00:58:24,800 --> 00:58:27,240
Yes, today you please me!
531
00:58:27,400 --> 00:58:32,200
Typical! As soon as I look like a
Pfälzer liverwurst, I please you.
532
00:58:32,360 --> 00:58:34,920
But I like liverwurst
as much as I do parrots.
533
00:58:40,360 --> 00:58:45,320
Hello? I already know 97 foreign
words. Father has tested me.
534
00:58:45,480 --> 00:58:51,200
- So, now I'll explain to you our
grand plan. - Excuse me, Mother,
535
00:58:51,360 --> 00:58:54,880
but I believe the plan is useless.
They'll discover me anywhere.
536
00:58:55,040 --> 00:58:58,960
Exceptional circumstances
require extraordinary measures!
537
00:59:00,280 --> 00:59:03,880
Imagine that, Konrad
disappeared four days ago!
538
00:59:04,560 --> 00:59:07,840
Didn't he go with you
to school this morning?
539
00:59:08,160 --> 00:59:12,960
- Nah, that was Oliver.
- Oh, well...
540
00:59:13,360 --> 00:59:16,000
With that mother it's no wonder.
541
00:59:35,560 --> 00:59:37,640
I must tell you something!
542
00:59:37,640 --> 00:59:40,200
Do you want to go with us again
because that guy is gone?
543
00:59:40,320 --> 00:59:42,240
I have to tell you something,
because of Konrad!
544
00:59:42,720 --> 00:59:46,440
The blue men from the factory are
after him, and we must try
545
00:59:46,600 --> 00:59:51,360
- to drive them away. - Great, and if
they still don't leave him in peace?
546
00:59:56,680 --> 00:59:59,720
Oh Oli, Kitty is right,
we simply have to try.
547
00:59:59,880 --> 01:00:04,960
- Exactly, we simply won't go away!
- Here, for Konrad.
548
01:00:07,360 --> 01:00:09,080
I'm here to pick up the misdelivery.
549
01:00:09,240 --> 01:00:13,320
Sorry, the misdelivery ran away three
days ago. Without a trace!
550
01:00:13,480 --> 01:00:17,320
You weren't to allow that! He is,
after all, the company's property.
551
01:00:17,480 --> 01:00:20,200
Allow? You are good!
First, you sent me something
552
01:00:20,360 --> 01:00:23,480
that I haven't ordered, and then
expect me to take care of everything!
553
01:00:23,640 --> 01:00:27,120
- Have you reported the loss to
the police? - Well, listen up,
554
01:00:27,280 --> 01:00:30,840
you sky-blue dwarf, you!
Who reports the loss of something
555
01:00:31,000 --> 01:00:35,240
that doesn't belong to him and which
he doesn't want? Go to hell!
556
01:00:37,280 --> 01:00:41,000
- Come on, now tell me all the swear
words you know. - I don't know any.
557
01:00:41,160 --> 01:00:44,600
But! What have Florian and Oliver
called out behind your back?
558
01:00:44,760 --> 01:00:49,600
I can't speak such words aloud.
They choke in my throat.
559
01:00:53,520 --> 01:00:57,000
Then alternate saying a decent word
and a swear word in turn.
560
01:00:57,360 --> 01:00:59,240
Dear friend...
561
01:00:59,920 --> 01:01:01,680
Idiot.
562
01:01:02,200 --> 01:01:04,840
- Idi...
- Go!
563
01:01:05,000 --> 01:01:07,600
- Idi...
- Say it!
564
01:01:07,760 --> 01:01:09,600
Idi...
565
01:01:11,280 --> 01:01:13,600
Idi...
566
01:01:16,680 --> 01:01:19,360
Idi... Idi...
567
01:01:19,640 --> 01:01:21,480
Ouch!
568
01:01:21,640 --> 01:01:25,160
Idi... ot!
569
01:01:28,400 --> 01:01:30,800
Dear friend...
570
01:01:31,800 --> 01:01:34,280
- Idi...
- Go!
571
01:01:34,440 --> 01:01:37,840
Idi... Idio...
572
01:01:38,000 --> 01:01:40,160
Ouch!
...ot.
573
01:01:42,760 --> 01:01:45,200
Idi... ot
574
01:01:50,120 --> 01:01:54,480
Idiot, idiot, idiot.
575
01:01:58,120 --> 01:01:59,880
You learn quickly!
576
01:02:00,480 --> 01:02:04,480
- That's enough for today, now we
can play. - "Concentration"?
577
01:02:04,640 --> 01:02:08,800
- No, coloring on the walls.
- But father expressly forbade it!
578
01:02:08,960 --> 01:02:13,440
Oh, don't worry about Egon!
You'd rather draw a flower.
579
01:02:19,400 --> 01:02:22,120
Don't be afraid.
Color with me!
580
01:02:40,960 --> 01:02:44,200
Oh dear, coloring walls
is strictly forbidden!
581
01:02:59,560 --> 01:03:02,160
Super, Konrad! Great!
582
01:03:43,960 --> 01:03:45,680
It's me!
583
01:04:01,960 --> 01:04:04,280
Oh, my goodness!
584
01:04:08,840 --> 01:04:10,400
Oh, my goodness!
585
01:04:10,560 --> 01:04:16,360
Exceptional circumstances require
extraordinary measures, Mr. Egon!
586
01:04:16,560 --> 01:04:21,320
- I know, I know ...
- Konrad already knows swear words.
587
01:04:21,520 --> 01:04:24,240
Yes!
Idiot, idiot, idiot.
588
01:04:24,400 --> 01:04:27,760
You must praise him,
otherwise all was in vain!
589
01:04:28,640 --> 01:04:33,400
My dear son, I'm proud of you,
how quickly you learn.
590
01:04:59,680 --> 01:05:03,640
Mrs. Bartolotti, open up!
We know that you're in there!
591
01:05:05,560 --> 01:05:08,720
- Open at once, Mrs. Bartolotti!
- Why?
592
01:05:08,880 --> 01:05:12,840
Due to the misdelivery. If you don't
open at once, we'll force our way in!
593
01:05:13,000 --> 01:05:15,320
You try that!
594
01:05:19,080 --> 01:05:21,080
Filthy pigs!
595
01:05:23,640 --> 01:05:25,480
Thugs!
596
01:05:26,760 --> 01:05:28,000
Child snatcher!
597
01:05:28,160 --> 01:05:32,720
Hopefully this will soon be over,
then we can go back to the museum.
598
01:05:33,160 --> 01:05:35,760
And if you like it here,
you can also stay here.
599
01:05:38,200 --> 01:05:42,240
This Kitty appears to be
a very sensible girl.
600
01:05:42,400 --> 01:05:44,360
Well certainly, and how!
601
01:05:49,080 --> 01:05:50,440
Damn!
602
01:06:18,680 --> 01:06:22,800
- You could have spared us your
diversion. - Who are you anyway?
603
01:06:22,960 --> 01:06:28,160
The factory's service department.
What do you think! After the runaway.
604
01:06:29,560 --> 01:06:33,280
- That's trespassing!
- This is theft of others' property!
605
01:06:34,760 --> 01:06:36,000
Oops?
606
01:06:36,160 --> 01:06:39,720
I've already said that he's gone.
He ran away 4 days ago!
607
01:06:39,880 --> 01:06:41,760
I found something!
608
01:06:54,760 --> 01:06:58,600
They are exposed. The date on the
homework is from 2 days ago.
609
01:06:59,640 --> 01:07:03,760
- No, slingshots are too expensive.
- Rig a trip cord!
610
01:07:03,920 --> 01:07:07,320
- And where?
- By the house door, where else?
611
01:07:07,480 --> 01:07:10,840
Well, my paint bags
would be the best!
612
01:07:13,960 --> 01:07:15,720
Oh, super!
613
01:07:15,880 --> 01:07:18,240
- Intense!
- Terrific!
614
01:07:20,400 --> 01:07:23,160
- Super!
- We need ten of them!
615
01:07:23,320 --> 01:07:26,200
- Or twenty!
- No, a hundred!
616
01:07:52,000 --> 01:07:54,960
"How are...
617
01:07:56,480 --> 01:07:58,040
you...
618
01:07:58,360 --> 01:08:01,920
my...
619
01:08:02,080 --> 01:08:05,320
Mother?"
620
01:08:09,720 --> 01:08:13,080
Who knows the green Teddy bear
with forty red noses?
621
01:08:13,240 --> 01:08:16,840
He throws things about
in his fury and rage.
622
01:08:17,000 --> 01:08:22,320
Hey, hey, Teddy Bear is so jolly,
is so great! Hey, hey, Teddy Bear...
623
01:08:26,600 --> 01:08:29,240
- I learn quickly, right?
- Hmm.
624
01:08:35,400 --> 01:08:40,720
Who knows the green Teddy bear with
forty red noses? He throws things...
625
01:08:40,880 --> 01:08:46,520
Who knows the green Teddy bear
with thirty red ears? He...
626
01:08:48,080 --> 01:08:51,920
Hey, hey, Teddy Bear,
don't be good, don't be calm!
627
01:08:52,080 --> 01:08:55,240
Hey, hey, Teddy Bear,
don't shit your pants in fear!
628
01:09:07,360 --> 01:09:10,920
Now it's snowing!
629
01:09:11,320 --> 01:09:14,000
Just you wait,
I'll tell your mother!
630
01:09:21,240 --> 01:09:23,120
Kitty, did you see?
They're completely blue!
631
01:09:29,360 --> 01:09:32,040
Kitty, you should not
have arrived so publicly!
632
01:09:32,200 --> 01:09:35,560
Hiding no longer makes sense.
Keep an eye out!
633
01:09:41,520 --> 01:09:44,840
A little too much sky-blue
for such a dreary day, huh?
634
01:09:47,760 --> 01:09:49,320
- Now everything is over!
- Nothing is over!
635
01:09:49,480 --> 01:09:52,320
I'll go up to Konrad
and initiate the crash course!
636
01:09:52,480 --> 01:09:56,920
Yes, what can I do? Berti should
be here. She's always braver than I!
637
01:09:57,680 --> 01:10:00,400
- Buongiorno!
- Oh, Caruso!
638
01:10:00,560 --> 01:10:03,440
Mr. Caruso, would you be so kind
as to carry a letter for me?
639
01:10:03,600 --> 01:10:07,360
- Please, can I do that. To whom?
- Mrs. Bartolotti.
640
01:10:11,760 --> 01:10:14,880
Konrad! Here we go, now comes
the hyperactivity program!
641
01:10:15,040 --> 01:10:20,120
That will blow off their ears and
noses, those Pissheads!
642
01:10:21,800 --> 01:10:25,800
- What may I do for you? - I would like
a pack of 20 Xanthocarpums.
643
01:10:25,960 --> 01:10:30,760
Yes, I have to order it first. If you
could return in two hours.
644
01:10:31,880 --> 01:10:34,040
One, two, three!
645
01:10:37,800 --> 01:10:40,200
Thanks. I'm waiting here.
646
01:11:09,040 --> 01:11:11,840
Now we're the Konrad rescue squad!
647
01:11:17,000 --> 01:11:19,360
One, two, three, jump!
648
01:11:21,000 --> 01:11:22,560
My God! Here too?
649
01:11:28,480 --> 01:11:30,240
We're surrounded!
650
01:12:07,120 --> 01:12:09,280
One, two, three!
651
01:12:12,920 --> 01:12:15,360
One, two, three!
652
01:12:31,840 --> 01:12:34,480
One, two, three!
653
01:12:35,720 --> 01:12:38,160
One, two, three!
654
01:12:39,720 --> 01:12:42,440
One, two, three!
655
01:12:42,760 --> 01:12:45,280
One, two, three!
656
01:12:53,480 --> 01:12:55,440
You'll get your son...
657
01:12:57,080 --> 01:13:00,040
... soon in your arms.
- You've put us off now for weeks!
658
01:13:00,200 --> 01:13:04,240
- When will I at last get my little boy?
- Right away, Madam!
659
01:13:04,400 --> 01:13:08,880
Get the boy out! It's our property!
You have no rights to it!
660
01:13:10,080 --> 01:13:12,000
- Over my dead body!
- Don't let them through!
661
01:13:12,160 --> 01:13:15,920
It isn't necessary that we go get him.
Instant-children obey to the letter.
662
01:13:16,080 --> 01:13:21,200
Konrad! Konrad!
Konrad, come at once!
663
01:13:21,360 --> 01:13:24,520
- Why doesn't he come?
- We ordered an obedient child.
664
01:13:25,120 --> 01:13:27,400
One, two, three!
665
01:13:27,560 --> 01:13:31,520
You know, he simply won't listen. You
can yell till you're blue in the face!
666
01:13:34,040 --> 01:13:37,440
We must storm the apartment!
667
01:13:42,560 --> 01:13:46,600
Who's bellowing so insanely at me?
I'm coming, you idiot!
668
01:13:49,240 --> 01:13:54,040
Mr. Director, you want to tell
us this is the boy we ordered?
669
01:13:54,200 --> 01:13:56,360
- Sorry, that was intentional!
- Unheard of!
670
01:13:56,520 --> 01:13:59,880
This should be a well-behaved child?
They are a bogus company indeed!
671
01:14:00,040 --> 01:14:03,080
Calm down, Grandpa,
or you'll get ulcers!
672
01:14:06,760 --> 01:14:08,960
And the director's name is Hector!
673
01:14:09,120 --> 01:14:11,800
Because he's often drunk,
he pisses in his pants!
674
01:14:11,960 --> 01:14:15,400
- Are they still there?
- Yes, but not for much longer!
675
01:14:15,560 --> 01:14:18,000
Okay, then we'll finish with them!
676
01:14:18,160 --> 01:14:20,440
The boy can't be from my
production. Impossible!
677
01:14:20,600 --> 01:14:23,560
Come on, let's go.
We still would rather get a dog!
678
01:14:23,720 --> 01:14:27,680
- You want to beat it?
- There will be consequences!
679
01:14:28,160 --> 01:14:31,120
And don't forget your gorillas
in the courtyard!
680
01:14:48,320 --> 01:14:50,080
Konrad, you were great!
681
01:14:50,240 --> 01:14:53,160
Who knows the green Teddy bear
with fifty red feet...
682
01:14:53,320 --> 01:14:56,000
- Must I be like this from now on?
- Oh, no!
683
01:14:56,160 --> 01:14:59,800
- Must I now be as I was before?
- Oh, no! - We've done that already!
684
01:14:59,960 --> 01:15:03,240
Hey, hey, Teddy bear,
not longer good, no longer calm!
685
01:15:03,400 --> 01:15:07,640
Konrad Teddy bear,
he now does what he wants!