1 00:00:25,200 --> 00:00:28,680 KONRAD FROM THE CAN 2 00:02:51,560 --> 00:02:53,960 Can they really live inside there? 3 00:03:58,400 --> 00:04:02,760 This thing is damn heavy! It certainly isn't popcorn... 4 00:05:10,600 --> 00:05:14,160 "Dear Mrs. Bartolotti, herein you'll find the desired items. 5 00:05:14,360 --> 00:05:16,920 In the case that you have no use for them, 6 00:05:17,080 --> 00:05:20,040 could you of course return them to us. 7 00:05:20,240 --> 00:05:25,360 Due to hygiene concerns, we only accept back unopened cans." 8 00:05:40,000 --> 00:05:42,800 It couldn't be sausages either. 9 00:05:44,640 --> 00:05:47,200 And hamburger is hardly likely. 10 00:06:14,160 --> 00:06:15,400 Oh! 11 00:06:16,480 --> 00:06:20,520 Good day, dear mother! The nutrient solution is on the lid. 12 00:06:26,520 --> 00:06:29,720 It would be very nice if you would hurry a little, 13 00:06:30,040 --> 00:06:34,240 because without the nutrient solution, I won't keep very long once opened. 14 00:06:36,320 --> 00:06:40,280 You must dissolve the nutrient solution in 4 litres of luke-warm water, 15 00:06:40,440 --> 00:06:42,320 and pour it over me. 16 00:06:47,040 --> 00:06:49,680 You must measure the water carefully. 17 00:06:55,920 --> 00:07:00,120 You must stir the nutrient solution into the water. 18 00:07:14,600 --> 00:07:17,560 Now you must pour the nutrient solution over me. 19 00:08:16,200 --> 00:08:20,720 "Father: Konrad August Bartolotti. Mother: Berti Bartolotti. 20 00:08:20,920 --> 00:08:26,120 Name: Konrad Bartolotti, Born on the 13th October of 1974. 21 00:08:26,280 --> 00:08:28,480 Nationality: German." 22 00:08:30,000 --> 00:08:35,280 "Dear Parents, with our highly-developed final product, 23 00:08:35,480 --> 00:08:39,440 faults and shortcomings are eliminated. Nevertheless, our young requires 24 00:08:39,640 --> 00:08:43,920 the usual supervision, nurture and affection." 25 00:08:45,360 --> 00:08:47,080 Don't you have any clothes? 26 00:08:47,280 --> 00:08:51,240 They told us we get clothes from our parents. 27 00:09:07,440 --> 00:09:10,880 - Is this fashionable for 7-year-old boys? - No, no. 28 00:09:11,040 --> 00:09:14,080 Little boys wear entirely different things. The jacket is mine. 29 00:09:14,240 --> 00:09:17,520 - I didn't know about all this! - What didn't you know? 30 00:09:17,680 --> 00:09:21,880 - Well, that they were sending you! - We're shipped only when ordered. 31 00:09:22,040 --> 00:09:26,720 - Or has the shipping department erred? - No, no, certainly not. I, um ... 32 00:09:26,920 --> 00:09:29,800 It's only... that I didn't know you would arrive today. 33 00:09:29,960 --> 00:09:33,560 I thought it would be at least 8 days or 2 weeks. 34 00:09:34,320 --> 00:09:36,760 Are you happy that I'm here, Mother? 35 00:09:37,160 --> 00:09:38,400 Yes... 36 00:09:38,640 --> 00:09:41,840 I'm very happy you're here, Konrad. 37 00:09:44,000 --> 00:09:46,120 Can I now lie down for an hour or two, 38 00:09:46,320 --> 00:09:51,200 - because I'm tired from the can opening? - Yes, of course! Come along. 39 00:09:51,760 --> 00:09:56,120 This must be done, because otherwise I could be damaged. 40 00:10:14,160 --> 00:10:16,040 Good night, Mother. 41 00:11:12,760 --> 00:11:15,880 Good. Thank you! -Thank you too. 42 00:11:19,120 --> 00:11:23,160 Caruso! Caruso! Caruso! 43 00:11:26,120 --> 00:11:29,080 - Good morning, Mother! - Hi Konrad! 44 00:11:33,320 --> 00:11:34,880 Jump! 45 00:11:37,840 --> 00:11:40,400 Why did you lift me up and then put me back down? 46 00:11:40,560 --> 00:11:43,360 I wanted to kiss you, but didn't know if that would be proper. 47 00:11:43,560 --> 00:11:48,000 Children are to be kissed by their parents only if they've been good. 48 00:11:48,560 --> 00:11:52,840 I was home alone. I've broken nothing and caused no damage. 49 00:11:53,000 --> 00:11:56,200 However, I put on the jacket, since I was a bit cold. 50 00:11:56,360 --> 00:11:59,560 - I hope that wasn't improper? - No, of course not! 51 00:11:59,720 --> 00:12:03,200 Then I think you can kiss me. 52 00:12:12,160 --> 00:12:13,720 Unpack it. 53 00:12:23,840 --> 00:12:27,440 - It doesn't appear you like that at all. - That's true. 54 00:12:27,920 --> 00:12:30,400 If it pleases you, then I'll also be satisfied. 55 00:12:30,600 --> 00:12:34,240 But it should please you! You should wear the clothes. 56 00:12:34,720 --> 00:12:38,480 I don't know what the latest fashion is, only... 57 00:12:39,560 --> 00:12:40,960 "Only" what? 58 00:12:41,840 --> 00:12:44,480 - Only ... - What? Spit it out! 59 00:12:44,640 --> 00:12:49,160 I've seen kids on the street. They were wearing completely different things. 60 00:12:49,320 --> 00:12:53,520 Because they're boring! They have no imagination and confidence at all. 61 00:12:53,680 --> 00:12:56,640 and their parents have none either. You see, the sun, 62 00:12:56,800 --> 00:13:00,160 the cat and the stag, which I've stitched... 63 00:13:00,320 --> 00:13:04,000 No one in the world besides myself has one, and about that I'm proud! 64 00:13:04,200 --> 00:13:07,480 - That's pretty, right? - Hmm ... 65 00:13:09,800 --> 00:13:15,080 Good, good, I can see. Not everyone is like me. 66 00:13:16,840 --> 00:13:19,040 You look enchanting! 67 00:13:19,560 --> 00:13:22,360 Really unique, super! 68 00:13:22,560 --> 00:13:25,280 You're the most beautiful child I've seen in my life! 69 00:13:25,480 --> 00:13:27,600 Come, look in the mirror. 70 00:13:28,200 --> 00:13:31,560 No! Seven-year-old boys should only wash around their ears 71 00:13:31,760 --> 00:13:34,120 and brush their teeth in the mirror. 72 00:13:34,320 --> 00:13:38,360 - Otherwise, they become vain and smug. - Oh! 73 00:13:52,560 --> 00:13:54,800 These are very nice blocks! 74 00:14:00,280 --> 00:14:03,240 - Where can I play? - Where can you do what? 75 00:14:03,920 --> 00:14:08,120 - Where is my play corner? - Play corner? What's that? 76 00:14:08,400 --> 00:14:11,760 Children have a children's room or a play corner. 77 00:14:12,040 --> 00:14:15,800 Since you don't have a children's room, you must assign me a play corner. 78 00:14:16,000 --> 00:14:19,680 So, I have a living room, a bedroom, 79 00:14:19,880 --> 00:14:23,560 a corridor, a bathroom and a kitchen. 80 00:14:23,760 --> 00:14:25,800 Every room has four corners. 81 00:14:26,000 --> 00:14:30,200 Konrad, you can have all of them! And the middle of the room too. 82 00:14:30,400 --> 00:14:34,000 - No, thanks. One is enough. - Well, then pick one out. 83 00:14:34,160 --> 00:14:36,400 - Where would I disturb you the least? - Who? 84 00:14:36,600 --> 00:14:38,960 - You. - Disturb me? 85 00:14:39,120 --> 00:14:44,560 Not at all. Certainly not! As far as I'm concerned, you can play anywhere! 86 00:14:47,120 --> 00:14:49,920 - Then I'll take this one. - OK. 87 00:15:00,400 --> 00:15:03,120 I have still a bunch of other things that I've bought. 88 00:15:07,480 --> 00:15:11,920 A ball, a picture book and a doll. 89 00:15:14,640 --> 00:15:17,680 It's better for a seven-year-old boy, 90 00:15:17,840 --> 00:15:21,960 to concentrate on one thing entirely. Otherwise he'll become hyperactive. 91 00:15:22,160 --> 00:15:25,280 I'm sorry! I hadn't considered that. 92 00:15:26,400 --> 00:15:28,280 - Is this for me? - Uh-huh! 93 00:15:28,480 --> 00:15:32,000 - I'm a boy! - Is a doll not for a boy? 94 00:15:32,200 --> 00:15:36,720 - No, a doll is something only for a girl. - Oh, too bad... 95 00:15:36,880 --> 00:15:41,600 She's so pretty! I have to do a bit of work now. 96 00:15:42,400 --> 00:15:47,080 Yes, of course! We were told that most mothers work nowadays. 97 00:16:07,520 --> 00:16:12,440 My God, it's 7 o'clock! Konrad, I must leave, Egon is waiting at the cinema! 98 00:16:12,640 --> 00:16:16,840 - Who is Egon? - Oh, we're friends, Tuesdays and Saturdays. 99 00:16:17,000 --> 00:16:20,880 We wanted to go to the cinema. I'll tell him about you then be right back. 100 00:16:21,040 --> 00:16:24,640 - You don't need to come right back for my sake. - Of course I must! 101 00:16:24,800 --> 00:16:28,600 You'll play a little while, right? Good. 102 00:16:51,880 --> 00:16:55,480 Berti! Finally! I already thought you weren't coming at all! 103 00:16:55,680 --> 00:16:58,800 - I'm sorry Egon, but I... - Yes, yes! Come quickly, it has already started. 104 00:16:59,000 --> 00:17:01,720 Yes, but Egon! I ... 105 00:17:02,080 --> 00:17:06,040 Would you like children? Do you worry about the problems in raising them? 106 00:17:06,200 --> 00:17:10,480 We deliver a child to specifications. With us there are no accidents 107 00:17:10,680 --> 00:17:14,480 and no more risks. The latest scientific production methods and 108 00:17:14,680 --> 00:17:17,800 the most careful quality control... - Sit down! - Egon! 109 00:17:17,960 --> 00:17:21,000 - Psst! - ...Our highly-developed final product fulfills your expectations. 110 00:17:21,200 --> 00:17:25,240 No problems as in natural children. Instant-children are clean, 111 00:17:25,440 --> 00:17:29,240 well bred, and an instant-child obeys to the letter. 112 00:17:29,440 --> 00:17:31,800 - Egon, I must tell you something! - Not now, later! 113 00:17:32,000 --> 00:17:36,720 - Yes, now! - Be quiet! We're ready to begin. 114 00:17:36,920 --> 00:17:39,880 - Order your instant child, direct from the factory. - I must say something! 115 00:17:40,040 --> 00:17:43,080 - Are you finally calm! - Calm down, people are watching! 116 00:17:43,280 --> 00:17:46,640 Egon, I have a child! 117 00:17:57,360 --> 00:17:59,080 Here we are, Konrad! 118 00:17:59,880 --> 00:18:05,240 - This is Egon, the pharmacist. - Good evening, Mr. Egon. 119 00:18:06,040 --> 00:18:08,840 Berti, I have to talk with you. 120 00:18:09,040 --> 00:18:12,560 Konrad, I must first explain to Egon why you're here. 121 00:18:12,760 --> 00:18:14,720 - Can you watch TV for a while? - Yes, Mother. 122 00:18:14,880 --> 00:18:18,480 Pull out the top knob, then push in the third from the bottom. 123 00:18:18,680 --> 00:18:22,120 Thanks, I know. We were instructed in using TVs. 124 00:18:37,360 --> 00:18:40,480 Annoying! Extremely annoying! 125 00:18:44,280 --> 00:18:47,720 I can't remember ordering him. I unsuspectingly... 126 00:18:47,880 --> 00:18:51,000 opened the can, and imagine that! You open up a can, 127 00:18:51,160 --> 00:18:54,640 and look upon a shriveled-up dwarf who says: "Good day, dear mother!" 128 00:18:54,840 --> 00:18:58,360 - "The nutrient solution is in the lid!" - Unbelievable! - Unbelievable? 129 00:18:58,560 --> 00:19:01,920 Can't you say something other than "unbelievable" and "annoying"? 130 00:19:02,120 --> 00:19:04,000 That's unbelievable! 131 00:19:07,360 --> 00:19:09,640 - Send him back! - Egon! 132 00:19:17,720 --> 00:19:21,400 - Is it time to go to bed? - Are you already tired? 133 00:19:22,680 --> 00:19:26,400 Most children aren't yet tired at bedtime. 134 00:19:29,840 --> 00:19:33,960 Stay up as long as you want. You'll decide when you want to go to bed. 135 00:19:35,680 --> 00:19:39,560 - Sit down! Would you like some candy? - No, thanks. 136 00:19:39,760 --> 00:19:43,640 - Snacking on food before bedtime is very bad. -Oh! 137 00:19:45,720 --> 00:19:49,400 Berti, you don't understand. This child is smarter than you! 138 00:19:49,600 --> 00:19:54,720 - He knows how bad sugar is for the teeth. - Hogwash! 139 00:19:57,160 --> 00:19:59,800 Thanks, the candy was good, but it worries me. 140 00:19:59,960 --> 00:20:02,000 Candy doesn't worry the stomach! 141 00:20:02,200 --> 00:20:05,080 You would have had to eat an entire bag already. 142 00:20:05,440 --> 00:20:08,800 Candy doesn't worry the stomach, but rather the soul. 143 00:20:08,960 --> 00:20:12,320 Because eating candy before bedtime is forbidden. 144 00:20:12,960 --> 00:20:16,080 That was one of the most important parts of our lessons, 145 00:20:16,280 --> 00:20:20,040 - that we had during final preparations. - That's terrible! 146 00:20:20,480 --> 00:20:22,400 It was called "guilt hour". 147 00:20:22,680 --> 00:20:25,440 If all children were this way, I would have had one long ago! 148 00:20:25,600 --> 00:20:28,240 Thus, a well-bred, respectable, friendly, 149 00:20:28,440 --> 00:20:32,160 well-mannered seven-year-old boy is a true joy! 150 00:20:32,360 --> 00:20:34,320 Egon, you're an idiot! 151 00:20:34,600 --> 00:20:38,720 Konrad, you need a father. He needs a father urgently! 152 00:20:38,920 --> 00:20:41,640 He has one! It states so on his birth certificate! 153 00:20:41,840 --> 00:20:45,280 Konrad August Bartolotti. That's his father! 154 00:20:45,440 --> 00:20:49,480 If that's his father, then he should come here and care for his child. 155 00:20:49,640 --> 00:20:52,200 That's his sworn duty! 156 00:20:52,360 --> 00:20:56,320 I have no use for Konrad August! I wish him good riddance! 157 00:20:56,480 --> 00:21:00,600 There he is and there he shall remain! I don't want him for Konrad either. 158 00:21:00,800 --> 00:21:03,440 - Then someone must take his father's place... - Aha! 159 00:21:03,640 --> 00:21:06,440 And so you happened to think of yourself. How selfless! 160 00:21:06,960 --> 00:21:09,080 Where I can sleep please? 161 00:21:24,560 --> 00:21:27,680 You know Konrad, that you actually belong to... 162 00:21:27,880 --> 00:21:31,080 - to a proper family and to a father? - Yes? 163 00:21:31,280 --> 00:21:35,400 And I would be happy if I could be your father. 164 00:21:42,040 --> 00:21:45,720 I'm now his father. Konrad has agreed to it. 165 00:21:45,920 --> 00:21:47,320 Really? 166 00:21:49,160 --> 00:21:53,680 - Good, it will be fine with me. - How nice that I have a mother and father! 167 00:21:57,600 --> 00:22:00,480 You must take Konrad to school tomorrow to enroll him! 168 00:22:01,120 --> 00:22:05,160 Tomorrow is Sunday and schools are closed! - Monday then. 169 00:22:05,320 --> 00:22:08,600 I can see now, how Konrad brings one thing after another into the home. 170 00:22:08,960 --> 00:22:12,480 He is an exceptionally intelligent child. - Yes, yes, yes... 171 00:22:13,600 --> 00:22:16,720 Berti, this is like growing flowers. If you give them no water, 172 00:22:16,920 --> 00:22:21,520 then they dry up and you can't sketch them. Children also need attention! 173 00:22:22,720 --> 00:22:26,920 You must change entirely! You must become more orderly and above all... 174 00:22:27,120 --> 00:22:29,400 - ... Motherly! - I? "Motherly?" 175 00:22:29,600 --> 00:22:32,720 From the ground up! You must become stable! 176 00:22:35,080 --> 00:22:37,200 - That's no concern of yours! - And how! 177 00:22:37,400 --> 00:22:41,280 I'm now Konrad's father and I would like him to have an decent mother. 178 00:22:41,480 --> 00:22:44,840 - You also can't dress yourself this way any more. - Ha! 179 00:22:45,000 --> 00:22:49,760 You'll have to keep things tidy and cook regularly. And, Berti ... 180 00:22:49,960 --> 00:22:54,880 You also have to regularly earn money so that the child is properly dressed. 181 00:23:20,760 --> 00:23:22,400 Oh... 182 00:23:48,520 --> 00:23:51,400 The ones, the tens, the hundreds and the thousands... 183 00:23:51,560 --> 00:23:56,000 - Good morning, Konrad! Why are you up so early? - Good morning, Mother! 184 00:23:56,200 --> 00:23:59,880 I'm keeping up good habits. I'll go to school tomorrow and so it's good 185 00:24:00,080 --> 00:24:05,920 - if I prepare myself properly. - Yes, yes. "Properly, properly..." 186 00:24:15,800 --> 00:24:18,920 - My goodness, you're hungry! - Oh no, I'm already very full. 187 00:24:19,120 --> 00:24:22,400 - I can't eat any more. - Well, then give it a rest! 188 00:24:23,000 --> 00:24:25,720 But what's put on the table is to be eaten! 189 00:24:33,400 --> 00:24:38,160 - Tell me Konrad, do we want to go to the zoo today? - I don't know. 190 00:24:38,320 --> 00:24:41,120 - Or would you rather go for a walk? - Actually I would most like to 191 00:24:41,280 --> 00:24:44,480 prepare for school. I don't know how far along the other children are. 192 00:24:44,640 --> 00:24:48,080 - Oh, you'll find that out tomorrow! - I would prefer to know today. 193 00:24:48,240 --> 00:24:51,920 Do you know any seven year olds who could lend me textbooks? 194 00:24:52,080 --> 00:24:56,520 - Don't you want to be in the 1st grade? - I want to be in 2nd grade at least. 195 00:24:56,680 --> 00:24:59,040 I'm not only an instant child, but also an elite child. 196 00:24:59,240 --> 00:25:02,440 And you don't want my intellectual abilities to atrophy. 197 00:25:02,640 --> 00:25:08,080 Oh no! I'll ask the Rosikas, who have a seven-year-old daughter. 198 00:25:12,120 --> 00:25:14,920 - What may I do for you? - Herbert, what's going on? Ah... 199 00:25:15,120 --> 00:25:17,600 My son, um... 200 00:25:17,800 --> 00:25:20,600 Your daughter is still in the 2nd grade and I thought that... 201 00:25:20,760 --> 00:25:23,960 Because my son... is going to school tomorrow, 202 00:25:24,160 --> 00:25:27,840 perhaps you could loan the textbooks to him till this evening. 203 00:25:28,240 --> 00:25:30,720 - Yes, we could certainly do that. - Of course. 204 00:25:32,280 --> 00:25:36,560 - You have a son? - Psst, don't ask about that! Get the books! 205 00:25:38,320 --> 00:25:40,040 We're almost done with the mathematics book. 206 00:25:40,160 --> 00:25:43,320 Thanks! I'll return them this evening. 207 00:25:59,560 --> 00:26:03,320 - Good day, Berti! - You? What are you doing here? 208 00:26:03,680 --> 00:26:07,800 - Why? I hope I'm not disturbing you. - Of course you're not. 209 00:26:07,960 --> 00:26:10,920 But Saturday was yesterday and Tuesday is the day after tomorrow. 210 00:26:11,120 --> 00:26:14,720 That doesn't matter to me. I'm now the father! 211 00:26:14,880 --> 00:26:18,840 - How often does a father come by? - As often as he can. 212 00:26:19,000 --> 00:26:21,960 - Yes, you can very often. - Of course. 213 00:26:22,160 --> 00:26:27,360 We'll be together every free moment. Of course, only when Konrad's not asleep. 214 00:26:27,520 --> 00:26:29,880 If he's sleeping, he doesn't need his father unconditionally. 215 00:26:30,080 --> 00:26:32,640 Hopefully he'll have a good sleep. 216 00:26:38,040 --> 00:26:39,920 Konrad, may I see you again? 217 00:26:40,560 --> 00:26:44,000 1 times 13 plus 17 divided by 3... 218 00:26:44,160 --> 00:26:46,280 - Exactly 10. - Hmm. 219 00:26:46,480 --> 00:26:50,760 7 times 4 divided by 2 plus 36... 220 00:26:50,920 --> 00:26:52,400 Exactly 50. 221 00:26:52,560 --> 00:26:55,360 Berti, the child doesn't belong in the second grade, 222 00:26:55,560 --> 00:26:57,920 the child belongs in the third or fourth grade! 223 00:26:58,120 --> 00:27:01,920 A 7-year-old child can't be in the fourth grade! And actually, 224 00:27:02,120 --> 00:27:07,040 - how would you know? - If a child is as bright as my Konrad, there's no doubt! 225 00:27:07,240 --> 00:27:10,120 Your Konrad? How is he your Konrad? 226 00:27:10,280 --> 00:27:13,480 Sorry. Our Konrad, I mean. 227 00:27:13,840 --> 00:27:15,960 My Konrad, I mean! 228 00:27:18,280 --> 00:27:21,720 Bertilein, let's not argue. Especially not in front of the child. 229 00:27:21,880 --> 00:27:25,400 You get on my nerves! 230 00:27:31,440 --> 00:27:35,320 Bertilein, I have to ask! Come on, Konrad, we're going to the zoo, 231 00:27:35,480 --> 00:27:38,040 until your mother calms down. 232 00:27:47,480 --> 00:27:50,520 - Is it a sign of nervousness, if one eats like you are now? - Yeah... 233 00:27:50,680 --> 00:27:54,560 - Why? - Because I don't exactly know what I should tell the school. 234 00:27:54,760 --> 00:27:57,320 You're seven years old and have never been to school. 235 00:27:57,480 --> 00:27:59,440 Nevertheless, do you want to be in 2nd grade? 236 00:27:59,640 --> 00:28:02,600 - In the third grade! - In the third? 237 00:28:08,440 --> 00:28:10,240 - Hello, Mrs. Bartolotti! - Hi! 238 00:28:10,400 --> 00:28:14,760 - Hello, my name is Konrad. - I'm Kitty! Are you in 2nd grade too? 239 00:28:14,920 --> 00:28:17,880 I've considered it and I'm going to 3rd grade. 240 00:28:33,240 --> 00:28:37,200 - Konrad, I think you should talk more like a child. - Don't I? 241 00:28:37,360 --> 00:28:40,960 I don't know. I hardly know any 7 year olds, but I don't think so. 242 00:28:51,520 --> 00:28:54,240 - What are you doing here? - Well, you're good! 243 00:28:54,440 --> 00:28:57,160 I'm definitely the father. I mean, if there are difficulties, 244 00:28:57,320 --> 00:29:00,520 - I must stand by you. - That isn't needed, Egon. Go to your pharmacy! 245 00:29:00,720 --> 00:29:03,760 I'm the father and shall remain so. Come on! 246 00:29:21,440 --> 00:29:23,760 Egon, this is unheard of impertinence! 247 00:29:41,000 --> 00:29:43,400 - Well, was it nice? - Did you get an A? 248 00:29:44,360 --> 00:29:48,560 - No? Why not? - Would you rather be in the 2nd grade? 249 00:29:48,720 --> 00:29:52,400 Nope, not at all. The stuff they learn there is terribly boring. 250 00:29:52,560 --> 00:29:56,680 - But Konrad, how did you talk? - I spoke childishly, like the others! 251 00:29:56,880 --> 00:29:59,520 - He has a funny mother! - Who looks like a poppy flower! 252 00:29:59,680 --> 00:30:03,360 I didn't speak today because I first need to figure out the correct way. 253 00:30:03,560 --> 00:30:07,080 Tomorrow I'll talk like that and get a guaranteed A! 254 00:30:07,600 --> 00:30:11,400 It's just hard to distinguish between what's childish and what's rude. 255 00:30:13,760 --> 00:30:18,480 - Konrad! - Isn't this the naughty girl who lives upstairs from you? 256 00:30:18,680 --> 00:30:21,240 I don't want Konrad to associate with this child. 257 00:30:21,400 --> 00:30:23,840 This girl already stuck her tongue out at me several times. 258 00:30:24,040 --> 00:30:28,800 - My son is very comfortable in the company of Kitty. - And mine is not! 259 00:30:29,120 --> 00:30:31,760 What should I do now? Should I associate with her or not? 260 00:30:31,920 --> 00:30:33,640 You should... Ouch! 261 00:30:33,840 --> 00:30:38,640 - See, your father says you should. - Konrad, I'm celebrating my birthday. 262 00:30:38,840 --> 00:30:42,800 I'd be happy if you would come over around 3. Bye, see you then! 263 00:30:47,400 --> 00:30:51,200 It's better for children when parents get along. - Yes, yes... 264 00:31:02,240 --> 00:31:06,760 - All people are different. - Did I ask for a life counsellor? 265 00:31:09,000 --> 00:31:11,360 I learned that in the factory. 266 00:31:57,400 --> 00:32:00,840 - You're ready to go? - Florian is also invited. 267 00:32:01,040 --> 00:32:05,480 - Is he nice? - He called me "Bartolotti Idioti" in school. 268 00:32:07,320 --> 00:32:11,280 - I'm sure he was only joking. - Do you really mean that? 269 00:32:13,360 --> 00:32:17,880 - Why did you say it then? - I wanted to spare you the anguish. 270 00:32:18,040 --> 00:32:20,760 How can you spare me anguish if you lie? 271 00:32:20,960 --> 00:32:26,400 - Why do children tease other children? - I need to think about that. 272 00:32:26,920 --> 00:32:30,800 I can't easily explain it to you. I'll tell you after the birthday party. 273 00:32:30,960 --> 00:32:34,720 - You promise? - I absolutely promise. 274 00:32:34,920 --> 00:32:40,200 And if this Florian, this jerk, bothers you again, then pop him one! 275 00:32:40,600 --> 00:32:42,960 I mean, strike him down, grind him in the dirt! 276 00:32:43,160 --> 00:32:46,360 Knock him so silly that he sees 1001 stars! 277 00:32:46,520 --> 00:32:49,240 Wipe the face right off him, my son! 278 00:32:59,000 --> 00:33:00,560 Are you afraid? 279 00:33:27,080 --> 00:33:29,200 Why is the pharmacist your father? 280 00:33:29,400 --> 00:33:32,120 My mother said he has no children at all. 281 00:33:32,320 --> 00:33:35,360 - They're certainly not married. - Leave him alone. 282 00:33:43,760 --> 00:33:46,240 Landed like a cowpatty! 283 00:33:51,800 --> 00:33:53,600 Good shot, yeah! 284 00:33:57,480 --> 00:34:00,120 It tastes best pounded to a pulp. 285 00:34:34,440 --> 00:34:35,760 Join in! 286 00:34:39,760 --> 00:34:41,400 Terrific! 287 00:34:48,480 --> 00:34:51,040 So, children, this has gone too far! 288 00:34:56,760 --> 00:34:59,960 - Konrad started it! - Such disgusting behavior! 289 00:35:00,160 --> 00:35:03,880 - Disgusting, beastly behavior! - So vulgar, that Florian would lie! 290 00:35:04,080 --> 00:35:07,440 I don't care for this at all! Take your filthyness somewhere else! 291 00:35:12,560 --> 00:35:15,040 - Do you actually know how to do this? - Of course! 292 00:35:15,240 --> 00:35:18,680 On your marks, get set... go! 293 00:35:29,680 --> 00:35:34,680 - Such a stupid game! - Exactly, it's only for idiots! 294 00:35:35,760 --> 00:35:40,760 Caruso! Sing us a song to dance to! 295 00:35:40,960 --> 00:35:45,080 You know the green Teddy bear with twenty red paws, 296 00:35:45,240 --> 00:35:49,120 who laughs, dances and sings no more. Who has forbidden him those things? 297 00:35:49,320 --> 00:35:52,960 Hey, hey, Teddy Bear is so good, is so calm. 298 00:35:53,160 --> 00:35:56,520 Hey, hey, Teddy Bear never does what he wants. 299 00:35:56,720 --> 00:36:00,680 Hey, hey, Teddy Bear never does what he wants! 300 00:36:05,040 --> 00:36:06,840 Damn stupid! Stinking silly! 301 00:36:07,000 --> 00:36:10,560 - Come on, let's get out of here! - Such a boring birthday! 302 00:36:10,760 --> 00:36:13,480 The blame for that lies with the stupid one there. 303 00:36:15,280 --> 00:36:19,160 - What do you like about him? - We're enemies forever! 304 00:36:19,360 --> 00:36:23,320 Loving couple, you're kissy, kissy, Bartolotti Idioti! 305 00:36:23,480 --> 00:36:28,160 Loving couple, you're kissy, kissy, Bartolotti Idioti! 306 00:36:30,080 --> 00:36:32,040 Michi said he thinks I... 307 00:36:32,200 --> 00:36:34,920 - ...I'm your new love? - It's true. 308 00:36:35,120 --> 00:36:36,440 - Really? - Really. 309 00:36:36,600 --> 00:36:42,200 - Kitty, are you telling me that just to prevent my anguish? - Nonsense.. 310 00:36:44,320 --> 00:36:46,280 That's nice! 311 00:36:53,320 --> 00:36:56,840 Tomorrow we'll go to school together and return home together too. 312 00:36:57,040 --> 00:37:00,480 And woe if someone does something to you! It'll be a war with me. 313 00:37:00,680 --> 00:37:02,080 Then I'll get ready! 314 00:37:18,480 --> 00:37:22,600 Is it good for a 7-year-old girl to protect a 7-year-old boy? 315 00:37:22,800 --> 00:37:27,560 - Of course, if he needs it. - And if others laugh at him? 316 00:37:29,080 --> 00:37:32,600 If you're always concerned about what others say, 317 00:37:32,800 --> 00:37:37,400 and what others do, then you'll end up exactly like the others 318 00:37:37,560 --> 00:37:40,200 and you can't have that. Do you understand? 319 00:37:40,400 --> 00:37:44,680 - Unfortunately not, but Kitty loves me. - Well, so what! 320 00:37:45,920 --> 00:37:49,040 Well done, Konrad! We must drink to that! 321 00:37:49,200 --> 00:37:53,160 So, I must drink to that. Here's to you my son! 322 00:37:58,560 --> 00:38:00,520 Egon... 323 00:38:08,280 --> 00:38:11,080 Yuck, yuck... protein! 324 00:38:11,240 --> 00:38:14,600 A 7-year-old boy needs animal protein. 325 00:38:14,760 --> 00:38:18,400 And vitamins A, BB and D. 326 00:38:18,600 --> 00:38:22,800 - He'll get it tomorrow! - He'll get it today! So, my son. 327 00:38:23,000 --> 00:38:28,200 - This is a proper boy's dinner! - But he has just eaten! 328 00:38:28,360 --> 00:38:31,960 That's no dinner, that's a stomach-churning chore. 329 00:38:33,200 --> 00:38:36,160 My darling, you must change yourself completely. You're certainly nice, 330 00:38:36,320 --> 00:38:40,040 but also very unfit to raise a child of Konrad's qualities. 331 00:38:40,240 --> 00:38:43,040 I could do very well by taking over his upbringing. 332 00:38:43,240 --> 00:38:46,280 Order your own child and you can do what you like with that one. 333 00:38:46,440 --> 00:38:48,160 But leave Konrad alone! 334 00:38:49,400 --> 00:38:52,040 My darling, you can insult me as much as you want. 335 00:38:52,240 --> 00:38:55,600 But when it comes to my son, I won't give in! 336 00:38:55,760 --> 00:39:00,040 Your son? August Bartolotti, the father's name is August Bartolotti! 337 00:39:00,200 --> 00:39:04,960 Konrad chose me as his father. Besides, this August Bartolotti 338 00:39:05,120 --> 00:39:10,240 isn't available. Or has your mother already bought your school supplies? 339 00:39:10,480 --> 00:39:14,240 - A good mother doesn't forget such things. - No, I haven't yet! 340 00:39:14,440 --> 00:39:17,400 As if there were nothing more important than getting school things. 341 00:39:17,560 --> 00:39:22,480 I would like Konrad by my side. I can hire a first class nanny 342 00:39:22,680 --> 00:39:24,880 and send him to a first class school. 343 00:39:25,040 --> 00:39:27,160 You're a first class idiot! 344 00:39:29,360 --> 00:39:32,240 There, see how unfit you are! 345 00:39:33,520 --> 00:39:37,800 So, Konrad, do you then agree that you'll live with me from now on? 346 00:39:38,000 --> 00:39:42,840 - I don't exactly know what's right. - My son, listen to yourself. 347 00:39:43,880 --> 00:39:46,520 You already have a sense of whom you prefer. 348 00:39:47,760 --> 00:39:49,480 Smoking is unhealthy! 349 00:39:52,440 --> 00:39:54,000 Egon... 350 00:39:56,480 --> 00:39:58,840 How do you like Kitty Rosika? 351 00:39:59,040 --> 00:40:02,560 She's an atrocious, rude girl. Recently in the pharmacy... 352 00:40:02,720 --> 00:40:06,000 she stuck her tongue out at me and jumped around on the scale. 353 00:40:06,160 --> 00:40:10,360 - And if she wanted to be his girlfriend? - I'd know how to stop that! 354 00:40:10,920 --> 00:40:14,640 Are you feeling ill, my son? Hmm, with this grub it's no surprise. 355 00:40:14,840 --> 00:40:19,200 I'm not ill, but I feel that I want to stay with my mother. 356 00:40:21,160 --> 00:40:25,440 - Don't you like me anymore? - Sure, dear father, I like you a lot. 357 00:40:25,640 --> 00:40:29,080 - I'm always happy when you visit us. - Oh... 358 00:40:29,240 --> 00:40:34,600 Don't take it too hard, Egon. Everything remains just as it was. 359 00:40:38,040 --> 00:40:40,600 Protein, animal protein is needed for a boy! 360 00:40:40,800 --> 00:40:46,160 - Vitamin A, Vitamin BB and D. - He'll get it tomorrow. 361 00:40:46,320 --> 00:40:50,840 - He'll get it today. This is a proper boys' dinner. - Bah! 362 00:40:51,000 --> 00:40:54,360 You must change yourself completely dear Berti! You're certainly very nice, 363 00:40:54,560 --> 00:40:59,320 but you are totally unfit to raise a boy of Konrad's qualities. 364 00:40:59,520 --> 00:41:04,240 Egon, you're an idiot! Come on, Konrad, we're leaving! 365 00:41:10,200 --> 00:41:12,760 Don't you like me at all anymore? 366 00:41:14,160 --> 00:41:17,440 Stop, wait! Kitty-Berti! 367 00:41:30,920 --> 00:41:36,280 - Konrad, you must change yourself! - Don't I please you anymore? 368 00:41:36,480 --> 00:41:38,600 Yes, very much! 369 00:42:10,840 --> 00:42:12,720 How is that possible? 370 00:42:13,360 --> 00:42:16,720 A... a... a... child! 371 00:42:17,680 --> 00:42:21,720 - Address! - Error of the shipping department. - What? What? 372 00:42:22,800 --> 00:42:24,280 Take the glasses! 373 00:42:26,160 --> 00:42:28,960 - Ooh... - We will find the boy. 374 00:43:22,360 --> 00:43:26,400 One, two, three, what do I see there? A couple in love! 375 00:43:26,600 --> 00:43:31,880 Another kiss, then it's over because he must go home! 376 00:43:32,320 --> 00:43:36,680 Cowards! Cowards! Cowards! 377 00:43:38,200 --> 00:43:42,080 Who knows the green Teddy bear with thirty red ears? 378 00:43:42,240 --> 00:43:46,120 He spits and stomps every which way and farts quite unabashedly. 379 00:43:46,280 --> 00:43:49,880 Hey, hey, Teddy bear, don't be good, don't be calm. 380 00:43:50,080 --> 00:43:53,280 Konrad Teddy bear doesn't dare do what he wants! 381 00:43:53,480 --> 00:43:57,200 Who knows the green Teddy bear with thir... 382 00:43:58,000 --> 00:44:02,120 - Konrad, what is it? - I don't know what I should do. 383 00:44:02,560 --> 00:44:06,920 Seven-year-old boys should listen attentively when mothers talk or sing. 384 00:44:07,120 --> 00:44:09,560 but 7-year-old boys should immediately turn away 385 00:44:09,760 --> 00:44:12,800 when there's improper talk or singing. 386 00:44:13,720 --> 00:44:16,840 I don't believe I know any proper songs. 387 00:44:17,880 --> 00:44:21,760 Oliver says you're quite intolerable. "A tattle-tale," he called you. 388 00:44:21,960 --> 00:44:24,920 - I can't do what's forbidden. - Tattling is forbidden, 389 00:44:25,080 --> 00:44:29,440 because it provokes others. If you tell on others, you're a snake. 390 00:44:33,680 --> 00:44:35,800 Who wants to demonstrate gymnastics? 391 00:44:36,800 --> 00:44:39,040 - Denise? - Nah. 392 00:44:39,240 --> 00:44:40,560 Konrad? 393 00:44:41,280 --> 00:44:45,040 - Remain seated! - Don't get up! 394 00:44:45,960 --> 00:44:49,520 Boo! Traitor! 395 00:44:53,360 --> 00:44:56,640 "Karantella, Karantella, Karantella, 396 00:44:56,800 --> 00:45:01,680 Karantella, Karantella, Karantella!" Who is that? 397 00:45:01,880 --> 00:45:03,920 - Caruso! - Yes! 398 00:45:05,280 --> 00:45:09,240 And who is this: "Vitamins, vitamins are what the child needs!" 399 00:45:09,800 --> 00:45:11,680 - Egon? - Yes! 400 00:45:13,280 --> 00:45:15,000 And now it's your turn! 401 00:45:19,880 --> 00:45:21,200 I am you! 402 00:45:24,800 --> 00:45:28,400 I can't do anything forbidden. I can't upset any adults. 403 00:45:28,560 --> 00:45:32,080 - I was made that way by the factory. - Nonsense! 404 00:45:32,720 --> 00:45:35,920 Everyone can change. You too. 405 00:45:36,200 --> 00:45:39,080 You just haven't tried properly. 406 00:45:43,360 --> 00:45:45,400 22 Marks, please. 407 00:45:45,600 --> 00:45:50,400 A father has to pay for his child! They call it alimony. 408 00:45:50,600 --> 00:45:53,800 You've been a father for three weeks and I've not seen a Pfennig! 409 00:45:57,160 --> 00:46:00,840 - Berti, not so loud! Keep the change. - Thank you. 410 00:46:01,560 --> 00:46:06,680 Naturally I'll support you. We could also raise Konrad jointly! 411 00:46:06,880 --> 00:46:09,080 That's out of the question! 412 00:46:10,000 --> 00:46:11,320 Certainly... 413 00:46:12,640 --> 00:46:15,360 the situation with Konrad is quite confused. 414 00:46:15,800 --> 00:46:19,240 The flowers, that you bring me, wither, before I have sketched them. 415 00:46:19,440 --> 00:46:22,000 - The newspaper has been notified. - If you give them... 416 00:46:22,200 --> 00:46:27,040 ..."fresh water every day, cut off the stems," I know... 417 00:46:28,520 --> 00:46:31,080 Berti, you're incorrigible. 418 00:46:31,480 --> 00:46:34,680 - Cheers! - To you too! 419 00:46:37,640 --> 00:46:40,680 - So. - Shall we go? - Yes. 420 00:47:01,520 --> 00:47:06,440 I'll show you something interesting. This is Strychnos toxifera. 421 00:47:06,640 --> 00:47:09,920 Obtained from the bark of this tree by the Indians in Latin America - 422 00:47:10,080 --> 00:47:14,360 from between the Orinoco and Amazon - 423 00:47:14,520 --> 00:47:17,480 we get the famous arrow poison "curare". 424 00:47:17,640 --> 00:47:20,280 They call it Tupí Urari. 425 00:47:20,760 --> 00:47:24,200 Which translates as "whomever gets it, drops." 426 00:47:24,400 --> 00:47:28,600 If this poison enters the bloodstream, it's absolutely fatal. 427 00:47:28,800 --> 00:47:33,920 Within a few minutes it causes heart paralysis, muscle paralysis 428 00:47:34,120 --> 00:47:37,560 and respiratory paralysis. Alexander von Humboldt... 429 00:47:37,720 --> 00:47:40,680 Now we'll go down to look at the moonseed plants. 430 00:47:40,880 --> 00:47:46,080 By 1815 Alexander von Humboldt became the first to describe the precise 431 00:47:46,280 --> 00:47:49,080 production and effects of curare. 432 00:47:49,240 --> 00:47:51,800 In the stomach, curare is harmless. 433 00:47:51,960 --> 00:47:57,880 Thus, the Indians could eat animals killed by their curare arrows. 434 00:47:59,160 --> 00:48:01,440 Well, enjoyed in small quantities 435 00:48:01,600 --> 00:48:05,640 ice cream could be good medicine for tired feet. 436 00:48:58,200 --> 00:49:03,480 - Who wrote to you? - Oh... just some advertisements. 437 00:49:07,280 --> 00:49:11,320 - Ads don't come by express letter. - The letter is from the factory. 438 00:49:19,600 --> 00:49:23,880 - Open up the letter! - And what if it contains something unwelcome? 439 00:49:24,080 --> 00:49:28,120 Forget the letter. We'll burn it! It'll be as though it never existed. 440 00:49:29,520 --> 00:49:33,800 Maybe it says something good. Perhaps Konrad won the lottery. 441 00:49:33,960 --> 00:49:39,240 Children, children! My intuition says there's nothing good in it. 442 00:49:39,400 --> 00:49:44,000 - The letter feels bad. - So we must open it more than ever! 443 00:49:44,200 --> 00:49:48,240 If one knows about bad things, they're less bad than if one doesn't know. 444 00:49:49,520 --> 00:49:51,320 If you mean... 445 00:49:55,880 --> 00:50:01,000 - Konrad, read to us. - "Dear Mrs. Bartolotti! 446 00:50:01,200 --> 00:50:04,960 We have found, after a review of our delivery department, 447 00:50:05,160 --> 00:50:08,760 that we've made a regrettable error. You were shipped a... 448 00:50:08,960 --> 00:50:13,760 seven-year-old boy that you were in no way entitled to." 449 00:50:14,360 --> 00:50:15,840 Of all the nerve! 450 00:50:17,320 --> 00:50:21,040 "At the time, you filled out two reminder forms 451 00:50:21,240 --> 00:50:26,520 for another product we have long since finished. 452 00:50:26,800 --> 00:50:30,560 We ask you to promptly make the boy available and get him ready to be 453 00:50:30,760 --> 00:50:35,680 picked up by our service department for delivery to his rightful parents." 454 00:50:35,840 --> 00:50:39,200 - Such an awful mess! - "We would like to point out you, 455 00:50:39,400 --> 00:50:42,600 that the factory retains ownership of instant children for their lifetimes 456 00:50:42,760 --> 00:50:46,640 and are only delivered on loan for rearing and the use of the parents." 457 00:50:46,840 --> 00:50:49,640 - Shamelessness! - "Objection on your part is futile 458 00:50:49,840 --> 00:50:52,560 and there is no right of appeal." 459 00:50:57,760 --> 00:51:01,480 That means... in the next few days. 460 00:51:05,640 --> 00:51:10,320 - You must not surrender him! - If he really is a misdelivery! 461 00:51:11,560 --> 00:51:14,120 And if he belongs to someone else... 462 00:51:14,960 --> 00:51:17,520 And if I've put in reminders... 463 00:51:19,480 --> 00:51:21,520 I can't cook properly. 464 00:51:23,600 --> 00:51:27,200 And Egon says, I'm not a good mother. 465 00:51:36,080 --> 00:51:39,440 You're my mother and you're a good mother. 466 00:51:41,120 --> 00:51:43,440 There, you've heard it, he doesn't want to leave! 467 00:51:43,720 --> 00:51:47,680 But you could become a mother who provides vitamins. 468 00:51:48,440 --> 00:51:53,480 And sings proper children's songs. And has a proper husband. 469 00:51:53,680 --> 00:51:56,640 I've become accustomed to having your love, as has Egon. 470 00:51:56,840 --> 00:51:59,800 And if I go away, I'd be away from Kitty too. 471 00:52:00,400 --> 00:52:03,920 No, I want to stay here. That's how I feel. 472 00:52:04,920 --> 00:52:07,040 You really feel that way? 473 00:52:12,360 --> 00:52:16,120 We must think of something that will work against those jerks. 474 00:52:16,320 --> 00:52:18,640 We must take action! 475 00:52:18,960 --> 00:52:22,560 Write them a courteous letter, saying that I want to stay here. 476 00:52:23,160 --> 00:52:26,360 Nonsense! They don't care a bit about what you want! 477 00:52:28,200 --> 00:52:31,720 We need to come up with something quite cunning! 478 00:52:32,360 --> 00:52:36,560 - But if the action is prohibited, I can't partake. - Hmm... 479 00:52:38,280 --> 00:52:40,680 "Forbidden, forbidden,"... 480 00:52:43,960 --> 00:52:47,320 March, Konrad, off to your bedroom! 481 00:52:47,480 --> 00:52:49,920 I have to discuss something with Kitty. 482 00:52:52,640 --> 00:52:57,240 Konrad must first disappear so the service department won't find him. 483 00:52:57,400 --> 00:53:01,080 - We'll take him to Egon. - And what happens if they figure that out? 484 00:53:01,280 --> 00:53:04,480 Then he must be made so that they don't want him anymore! 485 00:53:04,640 --> 00:53:07,600 Insolent? Loud? Messy? 486 00:53:07,760 --> 00:53:10,000 - Snotty? - Exactly! 487 00:53:10,200 --> 00:53:14,000 In other words, Konrad isn't like the way he was trained by the factory. 488 00:53:14,200 --> 00:53:16,480 And what one has learned, one can unlearn again. 489 00:53:16,640 --> 00:53:21,640 - And who should teach him that? - I can't ask Egon. 490 00:53:21,840 --> 00:53:25,960 The factory would become suspicious! But you can do it! 491 00:53:43,720 --> 00:53:44,840 - Good day! - Good day! 492 00:53:45,040 --> 00:53:48,920 - What does it cost to clean this carpet? - 6.50 Marks per square meter. 493 00:53:49,080 --> 00:53:53,600 Too expensive! Let's keep going. Can we get out this way? We live here. 494 00:53:53,800 --> 00:53:55,680 - Please. - Thanks! 495 00:54:07,160 --> 00:54:09,840 Pardon me! 496 00:54:19,400 --> 00:54:24,040 - Berti, what... what is the plan now? - To carry out the disappearance! 497 00:54:24,200 --> 00:54:28,040 - Why should I hide the carpet? - Not the carpet. Konrad! 498 00:54:28,200 --> 00:54:31,160 - You must hide Konrad. Just help out a bit for once! - Konrad? 499 00:54:31,320 --> 00:54:34,080 - Where... where is he then? - Push this here! 500 00:54:35,960 --> 00:54:37,560 So. 501 00:54:39,800 --> 00:54:44,320 - Get out of my way! - Yes, what should... 502 00:54:44,480 --> 00:54:48,720 - Oh, heavens! - Sit down, Egon, I'll explain everything to you. 503 00:54:48,880 --> 00:54:52,480 I have no time, the pharmacy is full of people! - Then leave and close it! 504 00:54:52,640 --> 00:54:55,040 But Mrs. Bartolotti, that's much too conspicuous. 505 00:54:55,200 --> 00:54:58,840 - A pharmacy can't simply close down! - Yes, very good! 506 00:54:59,000 --> 00:55:00,840 Very good! 507 00:55:05,800 --> 00:55:08,640 - My darling, that goes way too far! - It must be done. 508 00:55:08,800 --> 00:55:11,560 We have had Konrad only by mistake. They want to pick him up again! 509 00:55:11,720 --> 00:55:13,480 That's out of the question! 510 00:55:14,640 --> 00:55:17,680 - Did you actually pay for him? - No! 511 00:55:18,400 --> 00:55:21,280 Oh, how nasty! 512 00:55:23,800 --> 00:55:28,160 - Mother, what are we doing here? - Kitty and I are leaving again. 513 00:55:28,320 --> 00:55:32,840 You stay and wait for Egon. He's coming around 6:30. Don't go out! 514 00:55:33,080 --> 00:55:35,600 Can you bear it in this shack? 515 00:55:35,760 --> 00:55:39,880 A 7-year-old boy must be able to occupy himself for a couple of hours. 516 00:55:52,320 --> 00:55:56,600 - That's so hard! - Yes! So, once again! 517 00:55:56,760 --> 00:55:59,680 - Yes, phew! - So, now we're going. 518 00:55:59,840 --> 00:56:05,040 You know the green Teddy bear with thirty red ears... 519 00:56:07,760 --> 00:56:10,400 - We have reconsidered it. - Hmm. 520 00:57:19,040 --> 00:57:22,280 Look out! Here comes the "Konrad Destroyer"! 521 00:57:23,480 --> 00:57:27,760 Ah, you're all so stupid and you understand nothing at all! 522 00:57:27,920 --> 00:57:32,760 - I understand. You love monkeys! - What can he do since that's how he is? 523 00:57:32,920 --> 00:57:37,400 - They made him that way! - Who did, huh? Kitty, you're crazy! 524 00:57:55,120 --> 00:57:59,520 Oh dear! Now you're grey and hideous as a head louse. 525 00:57:59,840 --> 00:58:01,120 But... 526 00:58:03,280 --> 00:58:05,840 ...at least no one will recognize you. Yuck! 527 00:58:07,680 --> 00:58:12,680 - I'm getting bored in this stupid city. -Yes, yes, I know. 528 00:58:16,720 --> 00:58:19,520 What may I do for you? 529 00:58:19,800 --> 00:58:22,720 Oh, it's you! Berti... 530 00:58:24,800 --> 00:58:27,240 Yes, today you please me! 531 00:58:27,400 --> 00:58:32,200 Typical! As soon as I look like a Pfälzer liverwurst, I please you. 532 00:58:32,360 --> 00:58:34,920 But I like liverwurst as much as I do parrots. 533 00:58:40,360 --> 00:58:45,320 Hello? I already know 97 foreign words. Father has tested me. 534 00:58:45,480 --> 00:58:51,200 - So, now I'll explain to you our grand plan. - Excuse me, Mother, 535 00:58:51,360 --> 00:58:54,880 but I believe the plan is useless. They'll discover me anywhere. 536 00:58:55,040 --> 00:58:58,960 Exceptional circumstances require extraordinary measures! 537 00:59:00,280 --> 00:59:03,880 Imagine that, Konrad disappeared four days ago! 538 00:59:04,560 --> 00:59:07,840 Didn't he go with you to school this morning? 539 00:59:08,160 --> 00:59:12,960 - Nah, that was Oliver. - Oh, well... 540 00:59:13,360 --> 00:59:16,000 With that mother it's no wonder. 541 00:59:35,560 --> 00:59:37,640 I must tell you something! 542 00:59:37,640 --> 00:59:40,200 Do you want to go with us again because that guy is gone? 543 00:59:40,320 --> 00:59:42,240 I have to tell you something, because of Konrad! 544 00:59:42,720 --> 00:59:46,440 The blue men from the factory are after him, and we must try 545 00:59:46,600 --> 00:59:51,360 - to drive them away. - Great, and if they still don't leave him in peace? 546 00:59:56,680 --> 00:59:59,720 Oh Oli, Kitty is right, we simply have to try. 547 00:59:59,880 --> 01:00:04,960 - Exactly, we simply won't go away! - Here, for Konrad. 548 01:00:07,360 --> 01:00:09,080 I'm here to pick up the misdelivery. 549 01:00:09,240 --> 01:00:13,320 Sorry, the misdelivery ran away three days ago. Without a trace! 550 01:00:13,480 --> 01:00:17,320 You weren't to allow that! He is, after all, the company's property. 551 01:00:17,480 --> 01:00:20,200 Allow? You are good! First, you sent me something 552 01:00:20,360 --> 01:00:23,480 that I haven't ordered, and then expect me to take care of everything! 553 01:00:23,640 --> 01:00:27,120 - Have you reported the loss to the police? - Well, listen up, 554 01:00:27,280 --> 01:00:30,840 you sky-blue dwarf, you! Who reports the loss of something 555 01:00:31,000 --> 01:00:35,240 that doesn't belong to him and which he doesn't want? Go to hell! 556 01:00:37,280 --> 01:00:41,000 - Come on, now tell me all the swear words you know. - I don't know any. 557 01:00:41,160 --> 01:00:44,600 But! What have Florian and Oliver called out behind your back? 558 01:00:44,760 --> 01:00:49,600 I can't speak such words aloud. They choke in my throat. 559 01:00:53,520 --> 01:00:57,000 Then alternate saying a decent word and a swear word in turn. 560 01:00:57,360 --> 01:00:59,240 Dear friend... 561 01:00:59,920 --> 01:01:01,680 Idiot. 562 01:01:02,200 --> 01:01:04,840 - Idi... - Go! 563 01:01:05,000 --> 01:01:07,600 - Idi... - Say it! 564 01:01:07,760 --> 01:01:09,600 Idi... 565 01:01:11,280 --> 01:01:13,600 Idi... 566 01:01:16,680 --> 01:01:19,360 Idi... Idi... 567 01:01:19,640 --> 01:01:21,480 Ouch! 568 01:01:21,640 --> 01:01:25,160 Idi... ot! 569 01:01:28,400 --> 01:01:30,800 Dear friend... 570 01:01:31,800 --> 01:01:34,280 - Idi... - Go! 571 01:01:34,440 --> 01:01:37,840 Idi... Idio... 572 01:01:38,000 --> 01:01:40,160 Ouch! ...ot. 573 01:01:42,760 --> 01:01:45,200 Idi... ot 574 01:01:50,120 --> 01:01:54,480 Idiot, idiot, idiot. 575 01:01:58,120 --> 01:01:59,880 You learn quickly! 576 01:02:00,480 --> 01:02:04,480 - That's enough for today, now we can play. - "Concentration"? 577 01:02:04,640 --> 01:02:08,800 - No, coloring on the walls. - But father expressly forbade it! 578 01:02:08,960 --> 01:02:13,440 Oh, don't worry about Egon! You'd rather draw a flower. 579 01:02:19,400 --> 01:02:22,120 Don't be afraid. Color with me! 580 01:02:40,960 --> 01:02:44,200 Oh dear, coloring walls is strictly forbidden! 581 01:02:59,560 --> 01:03:02,160 Super, Konrad! Great! 582 01:03:43,960 --> 01:03:45,680 It's me! 583 01:04:01,960 --> 01:04:04,280 Oh, my goodness! 584 01:04:08,840 --> 01:04:10,400 Oh, my goodness! 585 01:04:10,560 --> 01:04:16,360 Exceptional circumstances require extraordinary measures, Mr. Egon! 586 01:04:16,560 --> 01:04:21,320 - I know, I know ... - Konrad already knows swear words. 587 01:04:21,520 --> 01:04:24,240 Yes! Idiot, idiot, idiot. 588 01:04:24,400 --> 01:04:27,760 You must praise him, otherwise all was in vain! 589 01:04:28,640 --> 01:04:33,400 My dear son, I'm proud of you, how quickly you learn. 590 01:04:59,680 --> 01:05:03,640 Mrs. Bartolotti, open up! We know that you're in there! 591 01:05:05,560 --> 01:05:08,720 - Open at once, Mrs. Bartolotti! - Why? 592 01:05:08,880 --> 01:05:12,840 Due to the misdelivery. If you don't open at once, we'll force our way in! 593 01:05:13,000 --> 01:05:15,320 You try that! 594 01:05:19,080 --> 01:05:21,080 Filthy pigs! 595 01:05:23,640 --> 01:05:25,480 Thugs! 596 01:05:26,760 --> 01:05:28,000 Child snatcher! 597 01:05:28,160 --> 01:05:32,720 Hopefully this will soon be over, then we can go back to the museum. 598 01:05:33,160 --> 01:05:35,760 And if you like it here, you can also stay here. 599 01:05:38,200 --> 01:05:42,240 This Kitty appears to be a very sensible girl. 600 01:05:42,400 --> 01:05:44,360 Well certainly, and how! 601 01:05:49,080 --> 01:05:50,440 Damn! 602 01:06:18,680 --> 01:06:22,800 - You could have spared us your diversion. - Who are you anyway? 603 01:06:22,960 --> 01:06:28,160 The factory's service department. What do you think! After the runaway. 604 01:06:29,560 --> 01:06:33,280 - That's trespassing! - This is theft of others' property! 605 01:06:34,760 --> 01:06:36,000 Oops? 606 01:06:36,160 --> 01:06:39,720 I've already said that he's gone. He ran away 4 days ago! 607 01:06:39,880 --> 01:06:41,760 I found something! 608 01:06:54,760 --> 01:06:58,600 They are exposed. The date on the homework is from 2 days ago. 609 01:06:59,640 --> 01:07:03,760 - No, slingshots are too expensive. - Rig a trip cord! 610 01:07:03,920 --> 01:07:07,320 - And where? - By the house door, where else? 611 01:07:07,480 --> 01:07:10,840 Well, my paint bags would be the best! 612 01:07:13,960 --> 01:07:15,720 Oh, super! 613 01:07:15,880 --> 01:07:18,240 - Intense! - Terrific! 614 01:07:20,400 --> 01:07:23,160 - Super! - We need ten of them! 615 01:07:23,320 --> 01:07:26,200 - Or twenty! - No, a hundred! 616 01:07:52,000 --> 01:07:54,960 "How are... 617 01:07:56,480 --> 01:07:58,040 you... 618 01:07:58,360 --> 01:08:01,920 my... 619 01:08:02,080 --> 01:08:05,320 Mother?" 620 01:08:09,720 --> 01:08:13,080 Who knows the green Teddy bear with forty red noses? 621 01:08:13,240 --> 01:08:16,840 He throws things about in his fury and rage. 622 01:08:17,000 --> 01:08:22,320 Hey, hey, Teddy Bear is so jolly, is so great! Hey, hey, Teddy Bear... 623 01:08:26,600 --> 01:08:29,240 - I learn quickly, right? - Hmm. 624 01:08:35,400 --> 01:08:40,720 Who knows the green Teddy bear with forty red noses? He throws things... 625 01:08:40,880 --> 01:08:46,520 Who knows the green Teddy bear with thirty red ears? He... 626 01:08:48,080 --> 01:08:51,920 Hey, hey, Teddy Bear, don't be good, don't be calm! 627 01:08:52,080 --> 01:08:55,240 Hey, hey, Teddy Bear, don't shit your pants in fear! 628 01:09:07,360 --> 01:09:10,920 Now it's snowing! 629 01:09:11,320 --> 01:09:14,000 Just you wait, I'll tell your mother! 630 01:09:21,240 --> 01:09:23,120 Kitty, did you see? They're completely blue! 631 01:09:29,360 --> 01:09:32,040 Kitty, you should not have arrived so publicly! 632 01:09:32,200 --> 01:09:35,560 Hiding no longer makes sense. Keep an eye out! 633 01:09:41,520 --> 01:09:44,840 A little too much sky-blue for such a dreary day, huh? 634 01:09:47,760 --> 01:09:49,320 - Now everything is over! - Nothing is over! 635 01:09:49,480 --> 01:09:52,320 I'll go up to Konrad and initiate the crash course! 636 01:09:52,480 --> 01:09:56,920 Yes, what can I do? Berti should be here. She's always braver than I! 637 01:09:57,680 --> 01:10:00,400 - Buongiorno! - Oh, Caruso! 638 01:10:00,560 --> 01:10:03,440 Mr. Caruso, would you be so kind as to carry a letter for me? 639 01:10:03,600 --> 01:10:07,360 - Please, can I do that. To whom? - Mrs. Bartolotti. 640 01:10:11,760 --> 01:10:14,880 Konrad! Here we go, now comes the hyperactivity program! 641 01:10:15,040 --> 01:10:20,120 That will blow off their ears and noses, those Pissheads! 642 01:10:21,800 --> 01:10:25,800 - What may I do for you? - I would like a pack of 20 Xanthocarpums. 643 01:10:25,960 --> 01:10:30,760 Yes, I have to order it first. If you could return in two hours. 644 01:10:31,880 --> 01:10:34,040 One, two, three! 645 01:10:37,800 --> 01:10:40,200 Thanks. I'm waiting here. 646 01:11:09,040 --> 01:11:11,840 Now we're the Konrad rescue squad! 647 01:11:17,000 --> 01:11:19,360 One, two, three, jump! 648 01:11:21,000 --> 01:11:22,560 My God! Here too? 649 01:11:28,480 --> 01:11:30,240 We're surrounded! 650 01:12:07,120 --> 01:12:09,280 One, two, three! 651 01:12:12,920 --> 01:12:15,360 One, two, three! 652 01:12:31,840 --> 01:12:34,480 One, two, three! 653 01:12:35,720 --> 01:12:38,160 One, two, three! 654 01:12:39,720 --> 01:12:42,440 One, two, three! 655 01:12:42,760 --> 01:12:45,280 One, two, three! 656 01:12:53,480 --> 01:12:55,440 You'll get your son... 657 01:12:57,080 --> 01:13:00,040 ... soon in your arms. - You've put us off now for weeks! 658 01:13:00,200 --> 01:13:04,240 - When will I at last get my little boy? - Right away, Madam! 659 01:13:04,400 --> 01:13:08,880 Get the boy out! It's our property! You have no rights to it! 660 01:13:10,080 --> 01:13:12,000 - Over my dead body! - Don't let them through! 661 01:13:12,160 --> 01:13:15,920 It isn't necessary that we go get him. Instant-children obey to the letter. 662 01:13:16,080 --> 01:13:21,200 Konrad! Konrad! Konrad, come at once! 663 01:13:21,360 --> 01:13:24,520 - Why doesn't he come? - We ordered an obedient child. 664 01:13:25,120 --> 01:13:27,400 One, two, three! 665 01:13:27,560 --> 01:13:31,520 You know, he simply won't listen. You can yell till you're blue in the face! 666 01:13:34,040 --> 01:13:37,440 We must storm the apartment! 667 01:13:42,560 --> 01:13:46,600 Who's bellowing so insanely at me? I'm coming, you idiot! 668 01:13:49,240 --> 01:13:54,040 Mr. Director, you want to tell us this is the boy we ordered? 669 01:13:54,200 --> 01:13:56,360 - Sorry, that was intentional! - Unheard of! 670 01:13:56,520 --> 01:13:59,880 This should be a well-behaved child? They are a bogus company indeed! 671 01:14:00,040 --> 01:14:03,080 Calm down, Grandpa, or you'll get ulcers! 672 01:14:06,760 --> 01:14:08,960 And the director's name is Hector! 673 01:14:09,120 --> 01:14:11,800 Because he's often drunk, he pisses in his pants! 674 01:14:11,960 --> 01:14:15,400 - Are they still there? - Yes, but not for much longer! 675 01:14:15,560 --> 01:14:18,000 Okay, then we'll finish with them! 676 01:14:18,160 --> 01:14:20,440 The boy can't be from my production. Impossible! 677 01:14:20,600 --> 01:14:23,560 Come on, let's go. We still would rather get a dog! 678 01:14:23,720 --> 01:14:27,680 - You want to beat it? - There will be consequences! 679 01:14:28,160 --> 01:14:31,120 And don't forget your gorillas in the courtyard! 680 01:14:48,320 --> 01:14:50,080 Konrad, you were great! 681 01:14:50,240 --> 01:14:53,160 Who knows the green Teddy bear with fifty red feet... 682 01:14:53,320 --> 01:14:56,000 - Must I be like this from now on? - Oh, no! 683 01:14:56,160 --> 01:14:59,800 - Must I now be as I was before? - Oh, no! - We've done that already! 684 01:14:59,960 --> 01:15:03,240 Hey, hey, Teddy bear, not longer good, no longer calm! 685 01:15:03,400 --> 01:15:07,640 Konrad Teddy bear, he now does what he wants!