Hi. I'm Siem.
And this is where it all started.
These are my parents: Rik and Eva.
They got married to be happy ever after.
That really went well: within a year they got me.
They were very happy. And it did help that I was a very good baby.
Hello Siem.
And this is my granddad Bert.
Five years later it was still real cozy and they all were happy.
But... Not with each other...
I'm going on a hike. With Felix.
Yes. - Bye Siem.
I just don't get it anymore...
My father went on a hike in the Alps to discuss what Eva and he should do.
But at home Mom had found out herself.
Look Siem, those babies in Africa weigh nothing at all.
She'd rather do something useful for the world, than be unhappy with Rik.
It was no fun, but after leaving for Rwanda my mom must have saved at least 10,000 lives.
After Grandma died, my granddad moved in with us.
This will be delicious! Now wave!
Everything was great. Until my dad got a new dentist.
Things went very fast.
With a dentist?
Before you knew it they got married.
Margreet had two kids already and she was kind of... tidy.
Super-tidy rather!
And although her kids were happy with a new dad, because theirs was dead...
Enjoy your meal. - Enjoy.
... "tidy" was quite hard for us.
Margreet couldn't help it: she was born tidy.
But the thing about tidy is: if you weren't born tidy, it drives you crazy.
This is how Rik and Margreet found out they didn't fit in after all.
Get out of here!
I'm Winnie.
And these are my parents: Romeo and Tosca.
Daddy already had a son from his first marriage: Milko.
That's when I arrived.
It was so cozy together.
We made rhubarb jam.
Rhubarb jam for sale. - Delicious rhubarb jam!
A lot of rhubarb jam.
But Romeo hated the Dutch weather.
And I think he had had enough of rhubarb.
So my father left...
and we stayed.
Without Milko.
Then mom got a lot of callers. - How sweet, thanks!
Mom never ever wanted another husband.
Then we got a new kid in our class.
I'm Siem. - A real nice dude.
I'm... I'm twelve...
My hobbies are photography, making rockets, handicrafts...
And that boy had a father. - My father!
And he falls in love...
with your mother!
Hi Grandpa. - Hi laddy.
Just look. - Oh no! Not again.
Boy oh boy...
Within three months... - We were living together.
RHUBARB
Now up. - Okay.
Thus started my 3rd home. - And my 2nd.
And you know how it is. Everything needs to be re-allocated.
Everyone needs to find his own place.
You want it? - Very much.
Okay. - Thanks.
And everything needs to be decorated.
Why don't you hang up mine? Isn't it pretty?
But this one goes better with the wallpaper. - I'll put up new wallpaper.
I really want this lamp here. I love it, it has my character, that lamp is me!
If you're the lamp, I'll help you hang it up.
So you're absolutely sure?
100%. This time it'll work out.
Then I would say... why don't you get married?
What a great idea.
Dear Tosca,
would you...
for the rest of our lives...
want to be my wife?
How to say this? Yes.
Yes I do.
Okay, your list up till now... - Ouch!
You okay? - Yes.
(naming people for the wedding)
(naming more people)
Darling? - Yes.
We still have a lot to do. A wedding is no kid's party. - Yes.
And I don't know whether a TV in the bedroom is such a great idea. - Oh yes it is!
Very cozy!
(soccer match on TV)
What are you doing?
I don't want a TV in my bedroom! - What do you mean: no TV?
We're not even married and we don't have sex anymore. - But it's Sunday evening!
You're in bed with me. - Yeah, and you...
Real cozy! It was better with the TV on.
You know what?
(TV is still switched on)
Hi. - Hello.
What are you thinking? - That it won't work out again.
Like with Dad and Mom, with Dad and Margreet...
Another new house.
Once more a single child with a depressed father. - And me with a depressed mother.
Maybe they should see a psychologist. - A psychologist?
Yes, a lot of people do.
But only when they get divorced? - No, they can talk about it.
About what went wrong when you were a child. - Oh.
But they didn't know each other yet? - That doesn't matter.
And where do you find a psychologist? - They're everywhere.
Yes? - We want to find out about relationships.
Okay, come in.
Go lie down.
Well...
Now how can I help you?
Our parents are going to get married... - Yes.
My father with her mother. - Yes?
My father's geting married for the 3rd time. - Well.
My mother had a divorce as well.
It's a bit complicated. - First I should get in touch with your parents.
We just want it to work out. - I understand. But you can't make it work.
You know that adults... just do as they like. - But don't you have some kind of a manual?
So they know how to? - You think I'm an info-leaflet for some kind of pill?
Oh no, not really.
But don't you have some kind of tips? - Tips! Now stop it! People just want tips. Ten tips to be happy.
A tip to be a 100. They don't come for a good conversation. No, they want tips. Please stop.
Just stop! I won't participate in that tip-culture.
I'm not some tip-shop.
Hello, we're looking for a book... - For when you get married.
There's a huge range in this genre. Please come with me.
First aid in love.
Growth spurts in love. How to sensibly connect... - Don't you have a book with some tips?
But of course. - And what book would you take yourself?
I don't have a relationship.
But those books in the back are very popular.
Divorcing. - That's not what we need.
Manual for the groom.
This one. Ten tips for a good relationship.
A good relationship is not for free.
You have to work on it. From the first moment when falling in love.
Tip #1: love yourself.
How can you love yourself? Shouldn't you love the other?
And don't you say "I love you"?
What's the next one? - The next one is...
Try not to change each other. Keep talking to each other.
Give each other space. Fight for your relationship.
Instruction #2. Take hold of your partner. It's important you take the lead because you're the man.
I've got an idea.
Hello kids. - Hi Granddad. You look cool with that dummy.
Yes, thank you.
What are you up to? - That's a secret.
What are you doing? - We're going to make a movie.
What kind of movie? - About tips from the book.
Look, when Rik and Tosca have a problem, they just watch the video for a solution.
You think it'll work? - Wait and see.
Hello Rik, hello Tosca. I'm a psychologo, psycho, tymocholo...
Hello Rik, hello Tosca. I'm Doctor Siem.
You're getting married which isn't easy. As you both well know. Especially you Rik: you made a mess 2 times already.
Doctor Winnie and I made some films, with a tip in each one.
And these tips... will save your marriage.
It's not hard, really. So: good luck.
Well? - Okay, I'm in.
Tip #1. Love yourself. How do we do that?
Umm... Ready?
Action! - Oh Winnie!
I'm so... so...
incredibly...
in love with you.
The most beautiful, the best... that ever happened to me.
I love you so much.
Was that good? - Yes, very good.
Umm, maybe it should be a bit...
Three, two, one!
Wow, magnificent. - Where should I sit?
Just a bit closer.
Yes, that's right.
Good, a bit to the right.
No, my right, the other right.
A bit to the other side? - Like this?
Perfect! I'll start filming.
#1 love yourself
Oh, I love you so much, you're so pretty, you're so good looking.
So beautiful, yes I love you a lot.
Siem, I love you so much as well.
You have all my heart. - I love you too.
I love you so much Siem. - Oh Siem, how much I love you!
(Siem continues to tell Siem how much he loves himself)
I really love him. Really!
I don't know why things are so rough now.
You should just get to know each other better. - That better happen quickly because soon we'll be married.
It'll work out. - Maybe Tosca wants things differently.
Differently? How differently?
How can I do more than my best? I can't do her best, can I.
Tip #2: Try not to change each other.
Into what? Into someone else? That's not possible.
What would you want to change about me? - I don't know you that well, so...
What would you want to change about me?
Nothing.
You're just perfect.
I've got an idea. For the movie. People want to change each other...
so the other becomes like yourself.
Isn't that what people in love want? To possess the other?
Wow, that's super-smart what you just said.
So the first stop is Antwerp, supposedly a really nice city.
Antwerp? - Mom, we're going to bed.
I'm going to bed, Dad. - Sleep well darling.
Goodnight son. Goodnight Winnie. - Yes.
We'll take the mats. - The mats!?! - For the kids. - On our honeymoon?
The children have holidays! - Yes, but the 2 of us are getting married, so the 2 of us go on honeymoon.
Then what do you want? - The two of us in a hotel.
A hotel where you can eat all you want! - Yeah, ridicule it. I just want to celebrate our wedding.
Give me the backpack.
Siem, I'm so happy you came.
I've missed you so much. - Me too.
I feel so good with you.
We fit so well together, really perfectly.
Do you want that?
Look into my eyes.
Soon... you'll be just like me.
No! You can't change me.
Siem! Come back! - Then I will lose myself.
Come back, Siem! - I'll stay as myself. You can't possess me.
#2 try not to change each other
So... Did you sleep well? - Fine.
- You look as white as sheets. - Yes, I had a scary dream.
Yes, about vampires.
Both of you? - No. -Yes.
Just tell him.
We're making something for Rik and Tosca. - A film with tips on relationships. So they know how they work.
That's a great idea. But don't forget one thing.
Their relationship is not your responsibility.
If their relationship goes awry, we're the ones that suffer.
Yes, you're right about that.
Tip #3: give each other space. When your partner wants peace and quiet, then give it to him.
Also make sure to take time for yourself.
What if we sit in a box together and then jump out...
because they have a lack of space.
Or we do something with space.
Yes. We suspend this and we wear those beekeeper suits...
Okay. There she goes! Up!
Oh no, the camera! Can you reach it? - No.
Almost.
#3 give each other space
Siem!
Winnie!
Siem! Where were you?
I was over at the Milky Way. I got stuck in a black hole. What about you?
I discovered a new planet. Are you coming to Venus?
But won't it get too busy with the two of us? I don't want to get in your way.
Okay, I'll go on my own. So I'll have some space. - Have fun! Take all the space you need.
Have fun! - I give you total freedom.
Siem! - Winnie!
Winnie!
Winnie, I miss you!
#3 give each other space
#3 give each other space, but not too much
When I grow up, I'll make trip round the world.
With whom? - On my own.
Or maybe, just maybe, with you. If you're sweet.
Maybe? Would you maybe? Would you maybe?
After that I'll invent something to make everybody happy.
Something like a flying scooter? - No, something against cancer.
And then you'll win the Nobel price. And we'll go on our flying scooter to Sweden...
where we'll meet the Swedish king, and I'll say: now this is my chick-a.
Chick-a. - Chick-a.
Now, well. Did you taste it? Delicious! - It's Winnie's recipe.
Did you taste it? - Hmm.
Hi. - Hey, sweet big friend of mine.
Sit down.
Are you okay, chap? - I failed.
Dad exploded so I wondered if I could sleep here. - Does he know?
I think he does. - Give the kid a beer.
You know, Milko, I failed my driver's license 4 times but in the end I passed.
And Tosca still can't drive even with a license.
You remember when she had to park... - Can I say something?
I say shit. Just shit! Shit!
Shit!
Okay, tip #4: Keep talking. That's the one we'll do. - Yes. But how?
We'll just play them. - Okay. But I'll play Tosca.
And I'll play Rik. - Fine, let's go.
Okay, right, bye. Mette and Mark are coming tomorrow as well.
Let's see. - Look, this bra is already stuffed.
You look gorgeous. This isn't quite Rik, it still needs something more.
Okay, lower it. Good.
Okay Rik and Tosca, take a seat.
Okay ladies, hit the gas!
#4 keep talking
Now, just go straight.
Isn't it lovely, holidays? I'm happy we're going camping. Right?
Oh the mats. Did you pack the mats? Oh, no I did, sorry.
If it keeps raining I want to go to a hotel.
Can't you be a bit more cheerful? - I AM cheerful, Tosca!
No Rik, you're not. - But I am.
Rik. I don't feel like sitting here with a sourpuss for the next 10 hours. Sorry.
And not talking about it, certainly won't solve it.
Well sorry, but my mom isn't like that.
Shit. - Shit.
Shit shit shit shit.
You just don't like my mother, do you? - I do Winnie! What's wrong? I do like your mother!
Winnie! What's the matter?
It'll be alright.
Girls really like this stuff. But you have to know what to give them.
You're having a quarrel. But not a serious quarrel.
So a necklace is too big and a ring is too small.
Okay, a bracelet? - Great, what about that one?
No, that's not her colour.
What is? - Blue.
For Winnie? - Okay.
What about the one at the back?
No, it doesn't suit her character. Too garish. - How do you know?
We know each other well.
That one!
44.95. - Do it!
That's too... - I'll lend it you.
Is it a gift? - Yes.
Shall I wrap it? - Yes please. And leave the price-tag.
Why? - It's a trick. So she knows how much you care.
Thought it up myself. - Thanks. - Thanks.
But you should present it in a very special way.
Winnie!
Winnie! Hello!
What are you doing? - (unintelligible)
Siem, have you got a minute? - Winnie! Winnie.
I've got to tell you something. - Okay. (unintelligible). Winnie!
This weekend I'm going on a hike with Felix in the Alps.
We were too late, the wedding was off.
Away from Winnie and moving again.
Here you are. - Thanks.
Just perfect.
My dad is going to go hiking in the Alps.
That means it's over between Tosca and him. - Then we should finish the movie.
Come on.
Tip #5: fight for your relationship. - Great, we'll have a fight.
What would they mean by that? If you love each other you wouldn't fight?
That's what you do if you don't love each other anymore. - Maybe it's a phase in between?
What? - Well, if you're not sure you still love each other.
Then you have to fight to mend your relationship. Get it?
So we make a scene about sacrificing,
On the beach with little soldiers... (WE WANT YOU TO FIGHT FOR LOVE)
Frederik, 11 years. - Next.
I'm Marcel, 11 years. - Okay, next.
I'm Cindy, 11 years. - Okay, next. Come on, go go go!
Juul, 13 years. - Next.
Paul, 12 years. - Okay, next.
Mica. 11 years. - Hi. - Next.
I've got the 9th and 10th grade to join in and I even got bombs.
If they don't understand about sacrifice after this film, I don't know anymore.
Everyone run... and die.
Very good boys. But don't drop all at the same time. One more time.
This here, is a bunker. We're filling pillow cases for sandbags.
Here are the nurses. Hi ladies. - Hi Milko.
Can you show how much you hurt? - Aargh!
That's how it should be later on. Now we'll see how they fill the sand-pumps with sand.
They compress it and then...
There's a camera underneath so we can see the whole beach. - Wow!
Here's the ammunition. Water-bottles. Gas masks.
Here we have makeup. Sit down.
So what should I do? - You come with me.
Everybody ready? Take your places...
And action!
#5 fight for your relationship
Escort, escort.
Siem!
Why did it take so long? I've been here for hours. Untie me.
Oh no, first you have to cry. Because you're being freed. - What?
You've got to cry. Come on. - I'm not going to cry. Untie me.
Set fire to this and she'll cry. It's a trick.
Come on.
Come on. Do it.
That's enough.
Hey Siem.
This is Wilma. - Hi Siem.
Siem! Are you coming for supper?
I'm not eating.
Siem. - No. - What's going on?
I'm ill.
What's wrong? - I'm having my period, okay?
Siem.
Siem?
Siem, what's wrong? - Nothing.
Stop talking nonsense. - Stop talking nonsense.
Siem, I can see you're angry. - I can see you're angry.
Idiot! - Idiot!
You're such a childish rotten kid. - I'm 12, what do you expect.
Just go play judo with that Gio of yours.
Since when do we go fishing on our own?
Is she really in love with that boy? - He's a judoka. - Oh?
Seems tricky. To be in love with someone you fight with.
I don't think that will last.
Hey Siem, don't give up! You may win her back.
I did it for her. Everything. All the films.
Hi Dad. - Hi Siem.
Dad. - Hi son.
Catch anything? - No, not yet.
You still going hiking in the Alps?
Yes.
I think I know what the problem is with Tosca and me. We're just too afraid that it'll go wrong.
So we don't dare take the next step. For me it's the 3rd time and with Tosca it went wrong before as well.
Makes you be on your guard, I guess.
I want to go and live with Mom in Rwanda.
In Rwanda?
Yes. Yes, but I miss you. I think I'll come and live in Rwanda with you.
But I want to be a biologist and over there the gorillas are around the corner.
Yes, I love you too.
Are you going to live in Rwanda with your mother? - Yes.
That's what we want to talk about with you.
Why? - Because.
Siem, I think it's a big step so all of a sudden.
But I miss her. She's on her own as well.
So if you can get me a ticket after the wedding, please. - Hello.
Hey! - Hello.
We'll join you for supper. - That's nice.
Siem wants to go and live in Rwanda. - Really?
We may drop by sometime! - Would you please listen! - Geez!
Siem, Rwanda is farther away than the moon. - But it's so lame here.
What is it you don't like? - You. Everything!
I just miss her. - I understand Siem. I'd miss my mother too.
He can mail her, phone her, web-cam, everything.
Rik, it's not the same, just try to understand. You're such a.... - What?
Sometimes it seems that another person is like an alien to you. - An alien? What do you mean?
That you don't understand what the other person feels.
Your own son misses his mother. How many brain cells do you need to understand that?
I won't say anything anymore. - Stop being silly.
I won't say anything. - I didn't want to be mean.
I'm so happy you added that.
If this goes on like this, I'll put an end to this whole wedding.
That afternoon Dad and his friend left for the Alps.
Take care.
Siem. Are you leaving because of Gio and me?
Siem, when you act like that, you're just like your father.
Kids, come with me.
Okay Siem, a bit to the right. Don't hold it in. Get that anger out!
#9 have a fight if you have to.
Winnie.
Siem.
Later on, Mom left as well. To a friend on Lesbos.
None of them said if they'd be back in time for the wedding.
Hello, my name is Koest. I'm an official of the civil registry.
Is your mother home? - No, she's in Rwanda.
And your father?
He's on a hike with a friend. - And Tosca is visiting a friend.
Strange, I had an appointment about the wedding.
Oh, please come in.
Hello, this the voice-mail...
Sorry, just the voice-mail.
They're... they're... - They forgot.
They forgot the appointment. - Well, okay.
Well, then maybe you can tell me about your parents?
What do you want to know?
Well now. How many times now has your father been married?
This is the 3rd time. - The 3rd time, oh my!
And your mother, Winnie? - For the 2nd time.
Winnie, how would you describe your mother? - She likes rhubarb, she's a controller but still she's chaotic.
Sounds complicated.
It's not too bad. You just have to know her.
What about your father, Siem? - My dad's very easy going.
Oh okay. And why do you think they're suited?
I think... because they...
Because they're very different. - Yes, you've gotta get used to that.
How do you mean?
You have take each other into account. Give each other some space.
When you're having a quarrel you have to keep talking.
And they find that hard, right?
I think everyone would find it hard.
Yes, but it's something you can learn, at whatever age.
And is there something else they find hard?
Well...
(muttering) - Sorry, what did you say?
Sometimes he's quite jealous.
And he thinks that's rather stupid.
And she sometimes has a temper.
And do you think they want to work on that?
Yes, I think he would want that very much.
And so would she.
Because they love each other, as different as they are.
Even though they sometimes have a bitter quarrel. - Yes, that's all part of it.
Well, I think I have enough. Do you want to say anything more?
Yes, I think...
that you should even like the other person to be different.
Otherwise you shouldn't start with love.
Or it would get boring.
You must really have thought about that, young man.
Okay, goodbye. - Goodbye.
Sorry.
For everything.
Sorry from me. - Now what about that wedding?
Those stupid parents. - If only they'd seen our film, things would've turned out right.
We could mail it.
But we have to film one more tip: give each other enough kisses.
Got the camera? - Yes.
Okay, let's go.
Wow!
Can you open that curtain?
Yes.
And switch on those lights at the back. - Oh yes.
Yes like that.
Splendid.
#10 give each other lots of kisses
And now we go edit.
Hi Rik. - Hi Tosca.
I'm Doctor Winnie. - And I'm Doctor Siem.
You got something? - Lesbos, KL241. - Leaves at 7:15.
That's only 30 minutes. And she should see it before she leaves.
Milko, and you? - The train to Luzern already left.
Okay, ready. - Press send. - Okay.
Recipient Sender
Message: Dear Rik and Tosca, download this video before departure.
Hello kids, what about pancakes?
Hi Rik, hi Tosca. I'm Doctor Winnie. - I'm Doctor Siem.
You're getting married. - That's not easy.
Maybe you think you can't do it. - But we think you can.
Especially after these films... - we made.
Greetings from Siem and Winnie.
#1 love yourself
Oh Siem, how much I love you! - I love you so much as well.
I love you so much. - I love you so much.
We fit so well together, really perfect.
Do you want that?
No! You can't change me.
Siem! Come back!
I'll give you all the space you need.
#3 give each other space
Winnie!
Shit. - Shit. - Shit shit shit shit.
#7 don't run off, it solves nothing
What do they mean? - If you're not sure you love each other...
that you should fight to improve your relationship.
Just go play judo with that Gio of yours.
#8 - trust the other - You're such a childish rotten kid.
Winnie!
Winnie, I miss you.
I did it for her. Everything. All the films.
Siem! - Winnie!
KL652 to Lesbos is ready for boarding.
KL652 to Lesbos.
Siem! - Mom!
Oh, you've got so big! Oh sweetheart.
How wonderful to see you. - This is Winnie.
How nice to finally meet you. - Hi. I'm Winnie.
And this is George.
Hi, Siem, - George.
Where's that crazy dad of yours? - That's a long story.
Finally with a couple of people, George included,
we traveled on, visited some villages...
Now that's quite enough! - You just had your turn.
(just table talk)
It didn't work out. - Yeah.
Dad!
You guys did well!
Mom!
Sweetheart, you really know how things should be done.
The end in the church was so nice.
With the lights. - And the music.
And that. - And that.
Everything. - Everything.
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